The Clegg/Cameron doorstep face-off

Why they can’t keep their hands off each other.

I want you to watch this video very carefully. And then again. And then maybe once more.

 

Have you ever seen so much hand action in your life? To start with, there's the classic handshake-plus-arm-grab from Nick Clegg. Solid, friendly, keen. Then the handshake hardens, becomes immobile, as though they're both playing chicken -- neither willing to let go first. I bet someone had a finger crushed at this point (although neither really seems the finger-crushing type).

There follows the genial back-tap by David Cameron, a classically patronising movement. But just when we've got used to the formation, up go their arms! It's like a Siamese wave! Or synchronised swimmers! They must have practised -- that kind of perfect execution doesn't come for free -- so symmetrical, balanced, rhythmic. And both, if you look closely, wearing that same clenched smile, the one that says: "Yup. Here we are. Pretty big day. And I'm responsible and serious, and ready to run this goddam country, in case you were wondering."

Quickly, and tellingly, we're back into competition -- neither wants to bring his arm down first, like two kids in a breath-holding contest, suffering agony in order to claim victory. And then the wonderful, clinching double-back-clap-and-wave manoeuvre, so often attempted, so rarely achieved.

They really excel themselves here. Yet still that element of competition -- if you clap my back, I'll clap yours just that much harder: I am the greater statesman, and this back-clap proves it once and for all!

Who wins? Well, it's clear, isn't it? Cameron swings back in with that final back-tap, which develops, outrageously, into a back-clasp, hardly ever attempted on these shores. He hasn't let go by the time the film ends -- I imagine they're still locked in that position as they embark on their first meeting, Cameron awkwardly refusing to surrender his puppet-holding clutch on Clegg's jacket.

Who would have thought 20 seconds of film could essentially tell you all you need to know about our new government?

Sophie Elmhirst is features editor of the New Statesman

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Who really controls the Labour Party now?

Jeremy Corbyn's allies will struggle to achieve their ambition to remove general secretary Iain McNicol.

Jeremy Corbyn's advance at the general election confirmed his place as Labour leader. Past opponents recognise not only that Corbyn could not be defeated but that he should not be.

They set him the test of winning more seats – and he passed. From a position of strength, Corbyn was able to reward loyalists, rather than critics, in his shadow cabinet reshuffle. 

But what of his wider control over the party? Corbyn allies have restated their long-held ambition to remove Labour general secretary Iain McNicol, and to undermine Tom Watson by creating a new post of female deputy leader (Watson lost the honorific title of "party chair" in the reshuffle, which was awarded to Corbyn ally Ian Lavery).

The departure of McNicol, who was accused of seeking to keep Corbyn off the ballot during the 2016 leadership challenge, would pave the way for the removal of other senior staff at Labour HQ (which has long had an acrimonious relationship with the leader's office). 

These ambitions are likely to remain just that. But Labour figures emphasise that McNicol will remain general secretary as long he retains the support of the GMB union (of which he is a former political officer) and that no staff members can be removed without his approval.

On the party's ruling National Executive Committee, non-Corbynites retain a majority of two, which will grow to three when Unite loses a seat to Unison (now Labour's biggest affiliate). As before, this will continue to act as a barrier to potential rule changes.

The so-called "McDonnell amendment", which would reduce the threshold for Labour leadership nominations from 15 per cent of MPs to 5 per cent, is still due to be tabled at this year's party conference, but is not expected to pass. After the election result, however, Corbyn allies are confident that a left successor would be able to make the ballot under the existing rules. 

But Labour's gains (which surprised even those close to the leader) have reduced the urgency to identify an heir. The instability of Theresa May's government means that the party is on a permanent campaign footing (Corbyn himself expects another election this year). For now, Tory disunity will act as a force for Labour unity. 

George Eaton is political editor of the New Statesman.

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