Web Only: the best of the blogs

The five must-read blogs from today, on another disgraced PPC, Tory plans for National Insurance and

1. The new BNP? Ukip stands by racist PPC

After the sacking of the Labour PPC Stuart MacLennan over offensive Twitter posts, Shamik Das on Left Foot Forward spotlights the offensive remarks made on a community care website by the Ukip PPC for Ilford South, Paul Wiffen.

2. David Cameron under pressure as his pact with the Ulster Unionists runs into trouble

Nicholas Watt at the Guardian finds Cameron struggling to evade the inevitable dangers of his Northern Ireland policy, defaulting on his neutrality pledges with a pact allowing Rodney Connor to stand as the independent unionist candidate in Fermanagh and South Tyrone.

3. Chris Grayling spotted! Is this the B&B campaign tour?

At Next Left, Sunder Katwala blogs on a sighting of the shadow home secretary in Ibstock, campaigning with the Conservative candidate for North-West Leicestershire, Andrew Bridgen, who had told the Leicester Mercury of his "considerable sympathy" with those B&B owners forced by the Equality Bill to let gay couples into their homes.

4. Pressure needs to be kept on Tories over NICs

On his blog, Alastair Campbell argues that the pressure should be kept on the Conservatives over their planned part-cut in National Insurance.

5. Battling for Bradford's Muslims

On al-Jazeera's Europe Blog, Nazanine Moshiri discusses the "crucial election battleground" of Bradford, quoting a Hizb ut-Tahrir activist urging non-participation. Moshiri also talks to Atif Imtiaz, a Bradford Muslim blogger who has the same concerns as any other Bradfordian: "the economy, education and health care".

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An alternative Trainspotting script for John Humphrys’ Radio 4 “Choose Life” tribute

Born chippy.

Your mole often has Radio 4’s Today programme babbling away comfortingly in the background while emerging blinking from the burrow. So imagine its horror this morning, when the BBC decided to sully this listening experience with John Humphrys doing the “Choose Life” monologue from Trainspotting.

“I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got Radio 4?” he concluded, as a nation cringed.

Introduced as someone who has “taken issue with modernity”, Humphrys launched into the film character Renton’s iconic rant against the banality of modern life.

But Humphrys’ role as in-studio curmudgeon is neither endearing nor amusing to this mole. Often tasked with stories about modern technology and digital culture by supposedly mischievous editors, Humphrys sounds increasingly cranky and ill-informed. It doesn’t exactly make for enlightening interviews. So your mole has tampered with the script. Here’s what he should have said:

“Choose life. Choose a job and then never retire, ever. Choose a career defined by growling and scoffing. Choose crashing the pips three mornings out of five. Choose a fucking long contract. Choose interrupting your co-hosts, politicians, religious leaders and children. Choose sitting across the desk from Justin Webb at 7.20 wondering what you’re doing with your life. Choose confusion about why Thought for the Day is still a thing. Choose hogging political interviews. Choose anxiety about whether Jim Naughtie’s departure means there’s dwindling demand for grouchy old men on flagship political radio shows. Choose a staunch commitment to misunderstanding stories about video games and emoji. Choose doing those stories anyway. Choose turning on the radio and wondering why the fuck you aren’t on on a Sunday morning as well. Choose sitting on that black leather chair hosting mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows (Mastermind). Choose going over time at the end of it all, pishing your last few seconds on needlessly combative questions, nothing more than an obstacle to that day’s editors being credited. Choose your future. Choose life . . .”

I'm a mole, innit.