Commons Confidential

Hoon's unexploding underpants

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Pauline Neville-Jones, a figure straight out of a Bond movie -- although think Judi Dench rather than Eva Green -- has spooked the Tory hardmen Chris Grayling and Liam Fox. The shadow home and defence spokesmen forced David Cameron to deny his national security adviser her promised cabinet-level post. The baroness, once chair of Whitehall's Joint Intelligence Committee, will be tucked away in the Home Office if the Cons win in May. Fighting terrorism seems to have taken a back seat to Tory infighting.

The Labour plotter Geoff "Buff" Hoon is still suffering Talibrown recriminations. One party loyalist spat that the Very Rubbish Coup fell flat when Hoon's underpants failed to explode. Another argued that they detonated but, like the Christmas Day bomber, Hoon only scorched his own privates. More sinisterly, a minister recalled Hoon moaning of mistreatment by Tony Blair, exclaiming: "After all the lies I've told for him!" What could Hoon have meant?

Andrew Mitchell is following in the tyre tracks of the Tory Lycra louts David Cameron and Boris Johnson. The banker-cum-overseas aid spokesman narrowly missed the heavily pregnant ITV hackette Alex Forrest on a Westminster pedestrian crossing. She protested loudly as Mitchell sped off into the dark without stopping. The frontbencher later rang to congratulate feisty Forrest on her impending motherhood -- but curiously offered no apology.

The Bible-quoting blogger Alastair "Now We Do God" Campbell fancies himself as a new Piers Morgan but TV isn't so keen, a producer whispered. Nor is Comical Ali's pride in the Iraq war likely to land him the newspaper column he covets. Meanwhile the onetime spinner's nemesis, Andrew Gilligan, has been busy. A snout muttered that round at Boris Johnson's London pad, Gilligan had been enlisted to help pull down a summer house in the garden.

The US shock jock Michael Savage, banned from Britain, wants the ban lifted so he can visit plants donated to Kew Gardens 40 years ago in his given name, Weiner. Kew has no record of them, and is in no hurry, I hear, to get to the root of the problem.

Tessa Jowell is recuperating after a knee op. A colleague wondered if she had worn out the joint with all those years of bending it to Blair.

Kevin Maguire is associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror

Kevin Maguire is Associate Editor (Politics) on the Daily Mirror and author of our Commons Confidential column on the high politics and low life in Westminster. An award-winning journalist, he is in frequent demand on television and radio and co-authored a book on great parliamentary scandals. He was formerly Chief Reporter on the Guardian and Labour Correspondent on the Daily Telegraph.

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Why isn't Labour putting forward Corbynite candidates?

Despite his successes as a candidate, the organisational victories have gone the way of Corbyn's opponents. 

The contest changes, but the result remains the same: Jeremy Corbyn’s preferred candidate defeated in a parliamentary selection. Afzhal Khan is Labour’s candidate in the Manchester Gorton by-election and the overwhelming favourite to be the seat’s next MP.

Although Khan, an MEP, was one of  the minority of Labour’s European MPs to dissent from a letter from the European parliamentary Labour party calling for Jeremy Corbyn to go in the summer of 2016, he backed Andy Burnham and Tom Watson in 2015, and it is widely believed, fairly or unfairly, that Khan had, as one local activist put it, “the brains to know which way the wind was blowing” rather than being a pukka Corbynite.

For the leader’s office, it was a double defeat;  their preferred candidate, Sam Wheeler, was kept off the longlist, when the party’s Corbynsceptics allied with the party’s BAME leadership to draw up an all ethnic minority shortlist, and Yasmine Dar, their back-up option, was narrowly defeated by Khan among members in Manchester Gorton.

But even when the leadership has got its preferred candidate to the contest, they have been defeated. That even happened in Copeland, where the shortlist was drawn up by Corbynites and designed to advantage Rachel Holliday, the leader’s office preferred candidate.

Why does the Labour left keep losing? Supporters combination of bad luck and bad decisions for the defeat.

In Oldham West, where Michael Meacher, a committed supporter of Jeremy Corbyn’s, was succeeded by Jim McMahon, who voted for Liz Kendall, McMahon was seen to be so far ahead that they had no credible chance of stopping him. Rosena Allin-Khan was a near-perfect candidate to hold the seat of Tooting: a doctor at the local hospital, the seat’s largest employer, with links to both the Polish and Pakistani communities that make up the seat’s biggest minority blocs.  Gillian Troughton, who won the Copeland selection, is a respected local councillor.

But the leadership has also made bad decisions, some claim.  The failure to get a candidate in Manchester Gorton was particularly egregious, as one trade unionist puts it: “We all knew that Gerald was not going to make it [until 2020], they had a local boy with good connections to the trade unions, that contest should have been theirs for the taking”. Instead, they lost control of the selection panel because Jeremy Corbyn missed an NEC meeting – the NEC is hung at present as the Corbynsceptics sacrificed their majority of one to retain the chair – and with it their best chance of taking the seat.

Others close to the leadership point out that for the first year of Corbyn’s leadership, the leader’s office was more preoccupied with the struggle for survival than it was with getting more of its people in. Decisions in by-elections were taken on the hop and often in a way that led to problems later down the line. It made sense to keep Mo Azam, from the party’s left, off the shortlist in Oldham West when Labour MPs were worried for their own seats and about the Ukip effect if Labour selected a minority candidate. But that enraged the party’s minority politicians and led directly to the all-ethnic-minority shortlist in Manchester Gorton.

They also point out that the party's councillor base, from where many candidates are drawn, is still largely Corbynsceptic, though they hope that this will change in the next round of local government selections. (Councillors must go through a reselection process at every election.)

But the biggest shift has very little to do with the Labour leadership. The big victories for the Labour left in internal battles under Ed Miliband were the result of Unite and the GMB working together. Now they are, for various reasons, at odds and the GMB has proven significantly better at working shortlists and campaigning for its members to become MPs.  That helps Corbynsceptics. “The reason why so many of the unions supported Jeremy the first time,” one senior Corbynite argues, “Is they wanted to move the Labour party a little bit to the left. They didn’t want a socialist transformation of the Labour party. And actually if you look at the people getting selected they are not Corbynites, but they are not Blairites either, and that’s what the unions wanted.”

Regardless of why, it means that, two years into Corbyn’s leadership, the Labour left finds itself smaller in parliament than it was at the beginning.  

Stephen Bush is special correspondent at the New Statesman. His daily briefing, Morning Call, provides a quick and essential guide to British politics.