Morning Call: pick of the comment

The ten must-read pieces from this morning's papers

1. There is more than cowardice that stands between Labour and regicide (Guardian)

Jonathan Freedland says that the lack of a clear challenger to Gordon Brown and the absence of an alternative programme mean that the Prime Minister is likely to survive again.

2. I know a man who can keep the New Labour flame burning (Independent)

John Rentoul argues that the next leader of the Labour Party should be -- and probably will be -- David Miliband.

3. General election 2010: time for the traditional bluster, bombast and lies (Daily Telegraph)

Simon Heffer says that both Labour and the Tories have duped the voters. He calls on Nick Clegg to provide an alternative to such deception.

4. Cameron will not break his vow on marriage (Times)

Daniel Finkelstein argues that David Cameron will not break his pledge to recognise marriage in the tax system. The Tory leader may introduce only a small tax break, but he regards the message as more important than the money.

5. The cause of our crises has not gone away (Financial Times)

John Kay warns that the conditions for a repeat of the financial crisis are in place and that even if there is a will to respond to the next crisis, the capacity to do so may not be there.

6. Walk of shame (Times)

A leader argues that while the Islamist march at Wootton Bassett may be deeply offensive, it should not be banned. The test of a fair society is how it deals with that which its majority finds objectionable.

7. High-speed rail will bleed us all for a few rich travellers (Guardian)

Simon Jenkins argues that the case for high-speed rail has yet to be proven. Upgrading and properly managing the existing railway may be better value for money than a project costing untold billions.

8. Great opportunities are open to the Liberal Democrats (Independent)

A leader says that Nick Clegg is right not to commit to either Labour or the Tories but that he must now prove his "seriousness of intent".

9. The eurozone's next decade will be tough (Financial Times)

Martin Wolf says that with no willing spender of last resort, the weaker members of the eurozone are unlikely to receive much help.

10. Marriage is no rose garden, and the Tory party knows it (Guardian)

Amelia Gentleman urges the Tories to look beyond marriage as a solution to societal breakdown. Cameron should spend whatever money there is on better schools and housing.

 

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Pity the Premier League – so much money can get you into all sorts of bother

You’ve got to feel sorry for our top teams. It's hard work, maintaining their brand.

I had lunch with an old girlfriend last week. Not old, exactly, just a young woman of 58, and not a girlfriend as such – though I have loads of female friends; just someone I knew as a girl on our estate in Cumbria when she was growing up and I was friendly with her family.

She was one of many kind, caring people from my past who wrote to me after my wife died in February, inviting me to lunch, cheer up the poor old soul. Which I’ve not been. So frightfully busy.

I never got round to lunch till last week.

She succeeded in her own career, became pretty well known, but not as well off financially as her husband, who is some sort of City whizz.

I visited her large house in the best part of Mayfair, and, over lunch, heard about their big estate in the West Country and their pile in Majorca, finding it hard to take my mind back to the weedy, runny-nosed little girl I knew when she was ten.

Their three homes employ 25 staff in total. Which means there are often some sort of staff problems.

How awful, I do feel sorry for you, must be terrible. It’s not easy having money, I said, managing somehow to keep back the fake tears.

Afterwards, I thought about our richest football teams – Man City, Man United and Chelsea. It’s not easy being rich like them, either.

In football, there are three reasons you have to spend the money. First of all, because you can. You have untold wealth, so you gobble up possessions regardless of the cost, and regardless of the fact that, as at Man United, you already have six other superstars playing in roughly the same position. You pay over the odds, as with Pogba, who is the most expensive player in the world, even though any halfwit knows that Messi and Ronaldo are infinitely more valuable. It leads to endless stresses and strains and poor old Wayne sitting on the bench.

Obviously, you are hoping to make the team better, and at the same time have the luxury of a whole top-class team sitting waiting on the bench, who would be desired by every other club in Europe. But the second reason you spend so wildly is the desire to stop your rivals buying the same players. It’s a spoiler tactic.

Third, there’s a very modern and stressful element to being rich in football, and that’s the need to feed the brand. Real Madrid began it ten years or so ago with their annual purchase of a galáctico. You have to refresh the team with a star name regularly, whatever the cost, if you want to keep the fans happy and sell even more shirts round the world each year.

You also need to attract PROUD SUPPLIERS OF LAV PAPER TO MAN CITY or OFFICIAL PROVIDER OF BABY BOTTLES TO MAN UNITED or PARTNERS WITH CHELSEA IN SUGARY DRINK. These suppliers pay a fortune to have their product associated with a famous Premier League club – and the club knows that, to keep up the interest, they must have yet another exciting £100m star lined up for each new season.

So, you can see what strains and stresses having mega money gets them into, trying to balance all these needs and desires. The manager will get the blame in the end when things start to go badly on the pitch, despite having had to accommodate some players he probably never craved. If you’re rich in football, or in most other walks in life, you have to show it, have all the required possessions, otherwise what’s the point of being rich?

One reason why Leicester did so well last season was that they had no money. This forced them to bond and work hard, make do with cheapo players, none of them rubbish, but none the sort of galáctico a super-Prem club would bother with.

Leicester won’t repeat that trick this year. It was a one-off. On the whole, the £100m player is better than the £10m player. The rich clubs will always come good. But having an enormous staff, at any level, is all such a worry for the rich. You have to feel sorry . . .

Hunter Davies’s “The Beatles Book” is published by Ebury

Hunter Davies is a journalist, broadcaster and profilic author perhaps best known for writing about the Beatles. He is an ardent Tottenham fan and writes a regular column on football for the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 29 September 2016 issue of the New Statesman, May’s new Tories