Faith in danger?
David Masters is studying for an MA in Working With Communities at the University of Sheffield. He recalls his struggle with faith as an undergraduate Christian student.
By David Masters Published 18 September 2008 12:31University, I was warned, is a dangerous place for faith. Brought up in an Evangelical Christian family, my father’s socks-with-sandals combination and rarely trimmed beard were enough to rival any Jesus-freak-of-the-year competition winner. He even read the Bible every morning, sitting on the toilet – locked in his sanctuary of calm, safe from the whirlwind of five children late for school, mum the human barrier to our fighting, simultaneously telling us off, brushing our hair and checking her make-up in the mirror.
The temptations of university are familiar to any undergraduate: sexual immorality, drunkenness, cigarettes, atheist lecturers, and a non-Christian peer group. From the dawning of puberty Christian adolescents are warned of these, and of how the temptation will be amplified tenfold at university. And here was I – lamb to the slaughter – choosing to study the most dangerous subject of all for any good young Evangelical: theology.
Determined to avoid alcohol and women, I applied myself to my studies with the fever and seriousness of my religious upbringing. I also found solace in my faith. I started reading my Bible in the morning – occasionally on the toilet, but mostly in my room – beginning to understand the comfort my father found in its familiar words and promises of hope. I went to church on Sundays, a lively Anglican place brimming with smiling young families and invites to lunch. At church, I enjoyed engaging with a different age group, leaving my academic concerns behind and embracing a simple faith for two hours a week whilst the rest of the student world nursed hangovers and sipped coffee. Finding a welcoming community like this is a great consolation amidst the noise, bustle, and loneliness of unfamiliar city streets.
At the same time, my faith was falling to pieces. Beer actually tasted quite nice – and my drunken friends didn’t turn into the raving lunatics I had been warned they would. Girls caught my eye too, although I didn’t have a clue how to talk to them. My studies tore to pieces all that I held dear – I was realising that the Bible couldn’t be literally true, that maybe Jesus wasn’t the Son of God, and that people of other faiths weren’t apostates, but sincere followers of a God or gods who transformed their lives.
Despite my doubts, faith never left me. I grappled with it, trashed it, threw it out at night, and discovered it again in the morning, smiling at me, knowing somehow that I’d always return. I realised that there was a deeper truth to the Bible than literal truth, that whoever Jesus was, he was fairly amazing, and that Christianity could be as sincerely followed as any other faith.
I also realised that faith is not just about God’s love for me, saving my soul, and making me a better person. It’s about God’s love for the world, campaigning for social justice, and making the world a better place. I joined campaign groups, started buying fair-trade, became a vegetarian, and ended up a pacifist peace activist.
University is a dangerous place. The danger, however, is not in undergraduates embracing their newly-found freedoms, but in the academic ivory tower of books and lectures, of proposing complex expert solutions to real life, everyday problems. What is taught at university can have a real effect on real life – I discovered that in my faith. Yet unless real life and academia somehow meet, they will not be able to transform one another, but instead will continue to operate in separate worlds, avoiding each another because of ignorance, fear, or both.
Dad still has the beard. I’ve got one too now, although lately it’s been too rainy for socks-and-sandals.
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4 comments
I fear that the bottom line in faith is indeed "about God’s love for me, saving my soul" etc. There is no popular demand for belief in any God other than one who ultimately services the human self.
Did you have more than one toilet? I've only got 3 kids, but i can't get near the bathroom in the mornings.
Faith can be comforting, but the Christian life is certainly not, not unless we look at the Bible through rose-tinted glasses. The Christian is called to suffer as Christ did - in other words to proclaim the truth, be mocked and ridiculed in going against the cultural and social tide, eshewing a comfortable life and financial security if that is what we are called to do, and ultimately to suffer as Christ suffered. For Christians in places like China or some parts of North Africa, this means not just psychological torture but physical torture and even death. Biblical Christians do not deal with suffering as aesthetic self-denial to 'purge' ourselves or moralise ourselves thinking this will make us right with God and the world, but because it glorifies God.
Far from being a comfort blanket, some sort of wish-fulfilment, it would be far more comforting to just go with the flow of society and abandon Christianity.
nawawimohamad,
Thank you for pointing out that what I have written could be read in that what. It is not at all what I meant to say, but I can see how it could seem that way.
However, I would like to defend what I wrote, using the new perspective you have given me.
What I was trying to say was that my Evangelical upbringing had taught me to equate alcohol and women - and to blame them both if I could not be 'steadfast' in my faith. I'm not defending this point of view, just saying that was my upbringing. I hope the rest of the article makes it clear that I moved beyond that way of thinking.
radius,
I know a lot of people whose faith inspires them to look beyond themselves and help others - in my understanding faith is all about looking beyond yourself to God. It also provides security and comfort, and I agree that for many people, this is where their faith begins and ends. Perhaps it is our society and economic structures to teach us to look out for ourselves, rather than religion?
We indeed had two toilets, both at home and university.
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