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Celibacy and Opus Dei

In the last of the columns on Opus Dei, Kristina Boskova describes how prayer helped her take the decision to become a Numerary – a celibate member of Opus Dei.

My dream was always to be a film director. I used to live in Elstree near the BBC Studios and thought the break-through would just happen one day! Nevertheless, I decided to study nursing! At the age of 19 I used to spend most of my time (and money) in the pub with my friends. All day Saturday and Sunday was spent shopping! It all got rather boring…

Then I met a friend who introduced me to Tamezin Club, a youth club run at one of the Opus Dei houses, where I began helping out with all sorts of activities. I loved the young people and found the work I was doing with them very creative and fulfilling. Little by little I became more interested in Opus Dei and received formation in the Catholic Faith which led me to think more deeply about my vocation in life.

Eventually I decided that my vocation was to become a member of Opus Dei. Then I had to make the choice between being a Supernumerary member, which meant I could marry and raise a family or a Numerary member which meant accepting celibacy. It was a big decision for me. I realized I would have to pray about it and follow my conscience. After much prayer, I decided I wanted to be a Numerary member. I asked to join, but they made me wait. I eventually joined in 2004 when I was 20 years old.

I now work full-time in a London Hospital as a staff nurse. I love what I am doing: caring for people, learning how the body works and how computers work and I love putting it all together! And, perhaps a throwback from the days when I thought of being film director, I like making short videos and DVDs, which tend to be short promotional or travel documentaries.

In my work I find it very helpful to consider my spiritual childhood. I am a daughter of God, a God who loves us and cares for us more than all the mothers of the world. This helps me to be happy and cheerful and do my best. My colleagues and I often have a good laugh at work – you certainly need humour in stressful or tiring situations. Good humour and cheerfulness are required when helping patients, when they are ill and feeling low, or scared, or worried about the future. And it can also help a patient get over an embarrassing moment. Many of my colleagues are practising Christians, and many are Muslims and we have an excellent relationship. My colleagues all work hard in the hospital and when they go home they still have so much to deal with, such as hungry children, food shopping and noisy neighbours. I have the great good fortune of going home and finding the other people of Opus Dei have prepared food for me, done my washing and cleaned the house. And sometimes when I may be upset or sad because a patient is very ill or has died, I am cared for. I, in my turn, correspond to that kindness by trying to be kind, witty and good company for them. I think this is a wonderful form of Christian fraternity.

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14 comments from readers

nawawimohamad
30 March 2008 at 05:29

With all due respects I believe that Kristina Boskova had never experienced a true complete cycles of multiple sexual orgasm in her entire life that she is willing to be a celibate not knowing the pleasures of life. I wish her all the best in her joining the Opus Dei.

Nana Will
30 March 2008 at 15:01

With all due respects I believe that Kristina Boskova may had never experienced sexual pleasure, but she has experienced God, which is far more important and fullfilling. Only who had never had such experience would say otherwise.

vetfred
31 March 2008 at 16:44

I personally think that someone that has never experienced the beauty and the freedom of celibacy would never understand her experience.

I much appreciate her testimony. Praise be to God for all the people that everyday say YES to his calling and give their life in the name of Jesus

jr
03 April 2008 at 11:02

How I wish more young people are like her, i.e., not obsessed with sex like the first comment above. It seems to me that no one can experience her joy unless one really faces God. They are just on a different plane, and she chose the higher one.

by JR

mjm
03 April 2008 at 18:03

The comments above raise the interesting question: can a person be fulfilled without every pleasure? I think this leads most of us to affirm: true love is fulfilling but often can entail sacrifice. Celibacy for the kingdom of God is the highest example of something, in fact, many do: give themselves generously out of love, even though they will experience hardship.

Soreofhing
08 April 2008 at 20:44

I wish Kristina good luck in her vocation.

However celibacy is a practice fraught with dangers. There can be no doubt that priestly celibacy drives some Catholic priests to forsake their vows and at the very least have girlfriends on the sly to realize their sexual needs.

At the worst some priests are driven to perversion wrecking young lives in the process.

I am not suggesting that Kristina will fall prey to these extremes but celibacy is a two edged sword.

Eddie
11 April 2008 at 15:51

Kristina! Go ahead!

Eddie

Cary Gray
14 April 2008 at 20:40

I applaud Kristina's effort and wish her all success. A continent life is possible for people with a high degree of good health and true vitality. Celibacy is the result of good living, not the cause of it. Someone with brothers and sisters who will have children need not worry that their genes will be lost in evolution. The world is not crying out for more people. Celebacy is responsible and a strong foundation to build a life on. The highest moral structures can be built on it. As you climb higher, and the vistas become more and more breathtaking, drop us some notes and tell us what you can see.

vt
17 April 2008 at 13:45

What great joy to have found that God has chosen you!

We all have our own particular vocation. Finding one's vocation to celibacy is not a matter of giving up any particular pleasure. Instead, it is the answer "Yes!" to God's call and take up the task God has given her. It's a gain not a loss. I'm very happy for you, Kristina!

There will be difficulties no matter one is married or not. I'll pray for you... though I'm sure you'll stay faithful to God.

zhei
26 April 2008 at 07:01

I'm very happy for you kristina!

I will always pray for the faithfulness of Opus Dei members. Indeed, this world needs you,a person who tries to be a saint. Holiness does not necessarily require perfection for "as long as there is struggle, there is interior life" if I may quote from St. Josemaria.

Good luck and stay cheerful.

Eva
04 June 2008 at 12:21

Well done Kristina! I wish, and keep on wishing, that society would wake up to the fact that there is more to life than immediate gratification. There are beautiful ideals to live for, that make life worth living, and the happiest people are those who have found that something to live for.

Counter to the first commentor's point of view, with all due respect, as Fulton Sheen noted, physical gratification sought for itself leaves only a bitter and sad aftertaste, a fragmented self and an empty heart. The angst that accompanies today's youth culture along with more 'liberated' attitudes to sex should tell us something.

People need something higher to believe in, and I think Kristina has found it.

gonwu
15 June 2008 at 21:10

Celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of God is an affirmatiom of love. I congratulate Kristina and pray for her, for her joyful correspondence to the the grace of God. How I wish that many of us would be more discerning in knowing what God wants of us.It is a pity and tragic that the so-called modern society has wanted to put God in parenthesis. Hardly do we hear these days in any appreciative way-more in a derogatory sense-, words like purity, chastity being flagged in today's discourse about virtues or the virtuous life. There is chastity that is proper to the married state, to the single state and to the celibate state. It is left to each one of us to discover our vocation with the help of God's grace, and to live it in conformity to His will.

GOMO

Chancellare
18 July 2008 at 00:55

It's amusing to see comments from those who assume that giving up sexual pleasure is a big loss. What is not apparent is it is like giving up alcohol or drugs.

Kristina, you did not lose anything at all but gained a lot.

Jules
05 October 2009 at 10:51

Good luck Kristina and God bless you.

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