Steven Baxter

Patrolling the murkier waters of the mainstream media

I'm proud to be a member of the "Humourless Left"

Is the Jubilee fawning really what we do better than anyone else? If so, is that something to be proud of?

By Steven Baxter Published 05 June 2012 15:24

Jubilee: A royal supporter holds Queen Elizabeth and Union flags as people wait on the Mall for the carriage procession of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. Photograph: Getty Images.

As we prepare to take down our soggy union jack bunting ahead of the ceremonial handover to St George flags on car roofs, I’m left with questions. Is this really what we do better than anyone else? If so, is that something to be proud of?

Yes, I’m glad of a day off (though it’s unpaid in my case). But I’m also allowed to have a look at what’s happened over the past few days and marvel at the sheer madness of it. Aren’t I? Or must we be shackled to the warble of jubilation, the hearty cheer and the wave of a plastic flag, above every sliver of criticism? Is no mockery allowed?

I fully accept the moniker ‘the humourless left’. Yes, we are the buzzkill, killing your buzz, your fading glow of empire and ‘wasn’t it fun when we were starving people to death and putting people in concentration camps, and now all we do is run call centres’. That’s fine. I am the Humourless Left, left without humour or fun at a time when no-one has any jobs or money while we watch giant golden things belonging to one family.

But I have just seen, on television, Huw Edwards looking out of a window at the Queen passing by in a coach. He did it, and I saw it. It was as if the BBC were justifying the enormous expense of this four-day royal love-in by that moment. “See, I can see it through the window!” Huw was trying to say. And all I could think of back was “Oh, well good for you, mate.”

There have been similar moments of bafflement right across the weekend. I’ve seen Emma Bunton talking about bunting. I’ve seen Ronnie Corbett provide narration of a room full of people eating their lunch. I’ve seen Stevie Wonder and Will.I.Am wish her majesty a happy birthday, and suffer the tsunami of criticism from the Twitter pedants as a result – like we even know when either of the Queen’s birthdays is meant to be. I’ve seen people talking about boats for what seemed like a lifetime, but which was only really six hours of live TV. Boats! People on boats for six hours.

As ever, the BBC’s rivals have used this occasion as a stick with which to beat Auntie – sometimes fairly, sometimes not. It’ll be interesting to see when the accusations of ‘leftist bias’ return to the corporation after these days in which everything’s been wonderful, and everyone loves the Queen, and everyone everywhere has been just like the perma-grinning mobs on the Mall.

We’ve even seen the biased anti-Tory BBCCCP bring in David Cameron for a couple of hassle-free cosy chats about how much he loves the Queen as much as we plebs do at home, at a time when his ministers are raising fresh questions about their conduct. Give it a week, though, and the usual suspects will be railing about how the Beeb is a hive of pinko nastiness.

Truth is, in the cold light of day and with the right royal hangover receding, you can only broadcast what's there. The Big Society flotilla was a soggy shambles – bring along the little ships from Dunkirk and have done with it. The Queen’s concert was enjoyable enough, though not always for reasons of quality – poor Cheryl Cole (sorry, Cheryl) wailing away into the evening air will live long in the memory, but not for the right reasons.

And of course, there are questions now being raised about the free labour used to steward the billionaires’ fun – obviously by the Humourless Left, who can’t just sit back and anaesthetise their critical faculties for four days, mewling idiots that we are. I dare say there were lovely scenes in communities up and down the country getting together, but that was hardly touched by what we saw on TV – it was the usual Londoncentric celeb-heavy drivel.

It’s just that I feel almost apologetic about pointing this out, like I shouldn’t be doing it. I’m not ruining anyone’s fun, but come off it – if you think we sold ourselves as a nation of anything other than willing subjects prepared to bow and scrape to our betters, I think you’re mistaken.

Tags: Monarchy

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21 comments

Thu, 2012-06-21 20:06 — Renalt

The UK may indeed be in a recession like the rest of the world, but I think in general this kind of "hoopla" brings in money from foreign sources as the WORLD cares about the royal family of England.
Mixed feelings

Wed, 2012-06-20 18:40 — rohanbxz (not verified)

Why does a middle left mag attract comments from a mass of extreme right-wing nuts?

Mon, 2012-06-11 09:48 — lanshan75 (not verified)

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Wed, 2012-06-06 20:42 — Carol Channing (not verified)

You pathetic, po-faced man.

The Queen and the Royals in general have bugg3r-all to do with the state of the economy and - SHOCK! - most people actually LIKE the Royal family and are happy to celebrate 60 years of Betty on the Throne (that sounds like a Smiths song title).

If you really want to lay into something that the majority of the public couldn't give two squits about and which is costing us a disgusting amount of money, then the Olympics is coming up. But I have a funny feeling that criticising that money pit doesn't fit in with your London-centric leftist agenda.

Prove me wrong.

Wed, 2012-06-06 14:12 — Shobhan (not verified)

I can't really understand what exactly is the Queen celebrating. With the country's economy in the negative and double-dip recession staring the people in the face, does it make any sense in blowing up millions of pounds on this meaningless pageantry?

Wed, 2012-06-06 14:05 — Michael72 (not verified)

I don't think it would matter how this country was run or whether we had a monarchy or not the writers and readers of the this publication would not be happy about it. You are all so predictable. Rallying against heritage and history (good and bad) as if caught up in some juvenile rebellion. Sure this country has had some very dark moments in its history...what country has not ? Natioanlity aside we are all just human beings with the same good and bad traits. Lool abroad now more than ever to realise how fortunate we are. Why do you try and mock/belittle/scorn and disapprove of something that united people and make them feel good ? The monarchy makes money and the majority approve. You lot are the strange ones.......

Wed, 2012-06-06 12:04 — Barrie J (not verified)

Bunting Watch: very little in north Bucks, not aware of a single street party.
'Festooned' for BBC speak that would be a street in London.

Wed, 2012-06-06 08:52 — rain (not verified)

These celebrations are truly awful, we're supposed to be repressed, ill-treated and living with the appalling consequence's of the nasty party's austerity and cuts. Not tuning out in our millions eating and drinking ourselves silly, enjoying ourselves in the rain celebrating the evil institution of monarchy. We should immediately return to our slums and vomit on our gruel.

Wed, 2012-06-06 04:39 — paul simon (not verified)

Is this how its people build their Jerusalem supraonsale.co.uk, with plastic flaglets made in China draped across once-respected monuments on limp off-white string?
!!

Wed, 2012-06-06 00:19 — bluebellnutter (not verified)

I'm of the left but also support the Monarchy, a position it is perfectly possible to take as I believe in improving the lives of those at the bottom rather dragging down those at the top.

Personally what I find really irritating is that people constantly feel the need to broadcast how much they aren't enjoying or liking something. You don't like the Jubilee (and I can already guess you won't like the Olympics), we get it. Some of us do, so why shouldn't we be allowed to do so? This is a recent phenomena and a particularly unsavoury one. Twitter seems to be the main culprit, anything that happens or is on TV or anything is the cue for a lot of "Well xxxx is shit anyway". So why are you even bothering yourselves about it?

Tue, 2012-06-05 23:19 — Rev Graeme Hancocks (not verified)

Well said. Nothing against the Queen - she seems a fine woman (even met her briefly once MANY years ago and she does have a lovely smile). I never feel the need to apologise for being left-wing - whatever the company - and I do have a good sense of humour. A sense of humour was certainly needed when I tuned into the BBC/ITV to catch up on what I was "missing". Some of I was watching/listening too was so banal, unctious, servile and fawning you had to laugh or cry. I don't want to spoil anyone's fun, I really don't. I even sort of enjoyed Monday's concert - though I found Elton and Macca's turns rather embarrassing as age seems to have caught up with both their bodies and voices. But the rest of it was just so nauseatingly sychophantic I was practically reaching for the vomit bucket. There is something perculiarly British in this servility and fawning. Its not really attractive and does us no real good. Summed up for me in one young American woman who was iterviewed by ITV in the Mall - "This is completely insane!" She meant it as a compliment. I think it about sums it all up.

Tue, 2012-06-05 23:08 — Nick T (not verified)

Re bunting watch/jubilee celebrations there have been virtually none here on Humberside - it seems there is a core of individuals across the UK who are totally committed to this stuff, the fatuous notion of Britishness that occasions like these allow them to wallow in. It's like a Henman Hill Wimbledon crowd, and it looks more desperate every time. I'm just glad it's over so's I can get on with trying to scrape a living.

Tue, 2012-06-05 23:08 — Nick T (not verified)

Tue, 2012-06-05 18:39 — Bek (not verified)

I've nothing personal against the queen. She didn't ask to be landed with the job and her upbringing and faith clearly have led her to believe that it's God's will she is in the position. But how can she - or anyone else- ever begin to justify the hereditary principle or the ridiculous amount of privilege enjoyed by the royals whose lavish lifestyles are funded by taxpayers like me? Every day in my job I see people who struggle, despite hard work and effort, to provide even the basics for their children and that is just one reason why I think there are 2 alternatives to consider.
1. Abolish the monarchy. I don't think this will happen in my lifetime.
2. Re-evaluate & re-model the royal family along the lines of the Scandanavian examples who cost a damn sight less. But after reading Ed Miliband's gushing tribute to Elizabeth 2 I don't think that will happen under a labour govt any time soon.
How very depressing.

Tue, 2012-06-05 18:32 — Alex M (not verified)

There is definitely a bunting gradient - with a rapid decrease in bunting as you move further away from London. Here in West Wales there's hardly any. Jubilee celebrations - almost invisible. Mind you, it's peeing down enough to mean that most sensible people are keeping indoors anyway.

Tue, 2012-06-05 16:27 — Jennie Kermode (not verified)

Wandering around Glasgow this weekend you would not have known that any such event was taking place. I'm told the same applied across most of Scotland. England on the news, festooned with flags, never looked more alien, and I have never found it harder to relate to the concept of Britishness. Is this how its people build their Jerusalem, with plastic flaglets made in China draped across once-respected monuments on limp off-white string?

Tue, 2012-06-05 17:14 — Christine England (not verified)

Bunting Watch Report live from Cheltenham: In my street of approximately 150 houses there are three withered red, white and blue balloons dangling on some wet string, one wrinkled fabric flag stuck to a window and another house with a couple of plastic flaglets stuck in a flower pot. 'Festooned'? Sorry to shatter the media illusion!

Tue, 2012-06-05 16:16 — a6ruled (not verified)

you can't criticise a publicly-funded, expensive celebration of inherited wealth and power these days without the politically incorrect brigade jumping down your throat

Wed, 2012-06-06 13:42 — CRis (not verified)

I think, till we are in democracy, everyone can criticise everything without no doubt, freedom of speeches is the fundamental of every democracy, I think: conoscere ragazze

Tue, 2012-06-05 15:59 — Benjamin Rae (not verified)

It's a peculiar British traits. There are far too many of us that enjoy being servile. The idea that the BBC are a bunch of lefties would be funny
if so many didn't believe it. They're just not quite as extreme as the right wing lunatics that run the Tory party these days

Wed, 2012-06-06 12:23 — KeithP (not verified)

Look to America, Obama's continually called a leftie socialist, yet he's 'middle right' compared to Europe, because for some reason, the right keep getting more right, and the left then compromise by shifting right a bit to close the gap.

Amuses the hell out of me that people think the BBC is some kind of socialist megaphone, however, especially after this weekend.

However, after seeing 'The Daily Show' and their tearing into CNN's coverage, by our export of Piers Morgan (please let it be a one way thing), seems parts of America are as nuts about the Queen too.

I actually have nothing against the Queen or the monarchy, I'd just like it trimmed down a little. Maybe hand back some of the land for social housing, cut a few of the lesser royals off the welfare list, etc.