Morning Call: pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. Ed Miliband, show us you have what it takes to be prime minister (Guardian)

His Labour party is resurgent, writes Alan Johnson. But in Manchester, Miliband must do more to demonstrate that he is a leader.

2. Power has come at a colossal price that Clegg isn't ready to concede (Independent)

It takes some chutzpah to claim that the Lib Dems have made a great leap forward when some polls place them behind Ukip, writes Steve Richards.

3. Politicians cannot hide from UK finances (Financial Times)

Our fiscal problems will not abate when the structural deficit recedes, write Nick Pearce and Gavin Kelly.

4. Another chapter in the slow death of politics (Daily Telegraph)

The public has lost faith in left and right – and it’s hard to see how it can be recovered, writes Sue Cameron.

5. UKIP’s disturbed vision is a Tory nightmare (Times) (£)

Nigel Farage’s party offers only dangerously appealing right-wing comfort politics that don’t stand up to scrutiny, writes David Aaronovitch.

6. Nick agrees with Nick (Guardian)

Clegg's calculation that there is ample space for his brand of centrism is questionable, to say the least, argues a Guardian editorial.

7. Not even the great economists of history can get us out of this fix (Daily Telegraph)

Our financial crisis is unique, and the route back to health will be painful, costly and long, says Jeremy Warner.

8. Rule of law can rid the world of poverty (Financial Times)

The poor will be safe when their rights are protected, write George Soros and Fazle Hasan Abed.

9. The Lib Dem leader's plan to plunder the hard-earned assets of Britain's pensioners (Daily Mail)

Clegg’s proposals are ill-considered, unworkable and unfair, says Stephen Glover.

10. May Andrew Mitchell survive the baying mob (Guardian)

The chief whip behaved boorishly, but should not be vilified, argues Geoffrey Wheatcroft. This story is really about the deterioration of the police.

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Commons Confidential: Smith, selfies and pushy sons

All the best gossip from party conference, including why Dennis Skinner is now the MP for Selfie Central.

Owen Smith discovered the hard way at the Labour party conference in Liverpool that one moment you’re a contender and the next you’re a nobody. The party booked a luxurious suite at the plush Pullman Hotel for Candidate Smith before the leadership result. He was required to return the key card the day after Jeremy Corbyn’s second coming. On the upside, Smith no longer had to watch his defeat replayed endlessly on the apartment’s giant  flat-screen TV.

The Labour back-room boffin Patrick Heneghan, the party’s executive director of elections, had good cause to be startled when a TV crew pounced on him to demand an interview. The human submarine rarely surfaces in public and anonymity is his calling card. It turns out that the bespectacled Heneghan was mistaken for Owen Smith – a risky likeness when vengeful Corbynistas are on rampage. There’s no evidence of Smith being mistaken for Heneghan, though. Yet.

Members of Labour’s governing National Executive Committee are discovering new passions to pass the time during interminable meetings, as the Mods and the Corbs battle over each line of every decision. The shadow cabinet attack dog Jon “Sparkle” Ashworth, son of a casino croupier and a bunny girl, whiles away the hours by reading the poetry of Walt Whitman and W B Yeats on his iPad. Sparkle has learned that, to echo Whitman, to be with those he likes is enough.

I discovered Theresa May’s bit of rough – the grizzled Tory chairman, Patrick McLoughlin, a former Derbyshire coal miner – does his gardening in steel-toecapped wellies stamped “NCB” from his time down the pit thirty years ago. He’ll need his industrial footwear in Birmingham to kick around Tories revolting over grammar schools and Brexit.

Another ex-miner, Dennis Skinner, was the MP for Selfie Central in Liverpool, where a snap with the Beast of Bolsover was a popular memento. Alas, no cameras captured him in the Commons library demonstrating the contorted technique of speed-walkers. His father once inquired, “Why tha’ waddling tha’ bloody arse?” in Skinner’s younger days, when he’d top 7mph. Observers didn’t dare.

The Northern Poorhouse minister Andrew Percy moans that he’s been allocated a broom cupboard masquerading as an office in the old part of parliament. My snout claims that Precious Percy grumbled: “It’s so small, my human rights are violated.” Funny how the only “rights” many Tories shout about are their own.

The son of a very prominent Labour figure was caught trying to smuggle friends without passes into the secure conference zone in Liverpool. “Don’t you know who I am?” The cop didn’t, but he does now.

Kevin Maguire is the associate editor (politics) of the Daily Mirror

Kevin Maguire is Associate Editor (Politics) on the Daily Mirror and author of our Commons Confidential column on the high politics and low life in Westminster. An award-winning journalist, he is in frequent demand on television and radio and co-authored a book on great parliamentary scandals. He was formerly Chief Reporter on the Guardian and Labour Correspondent on the Daily Telegraph.

This article first appeared in the 29 September 2016 issue of the New Statesman, May’s new Tories