An amusing little anecdote reaches The Staggers amid the general confusion among the many new MPs in parliament.

Apparently poor Tristram Hunt, the celebrated centre-left historian and new Labour MP, keeps being mistaken for Zac Goldsmith, the slick environmentalist and new Tory member. Both share a tall build and trendy blond hairstyles.

Says a source: "Tories keep running up behind Hunt and shouting 'Zac!', at which point Hunt turns around and says, 'There's about a billion pounds between us!' ".