Morning Call: the pick of the papers

The ten must-read comment pieces from this morning's papers.

1. A third runway, Boris Island, better rail? Please, just decide (Guardian)

Prevarication over aviation policy breeds a dangerous mistrust. The cabinet must take a firm decision, and act on it, writes Jackie Ashley.

2. The German people will decide Europe's fate (Guardian)

Hans Kundnani argues that starkly divided opinion in the EU's biggest economy could be as big a threat to the euro as Greek debt.

3. Will the real David Cameron please stand up? (Times £)

The Prime Minister must stop calculating which way is safest to jump and get out and fight for what he believes, writes Conservative Home's editor Tim Montgomerie.

4. David Cameron praises Paralympians, but his policies will crush them (Independent)

With just days to go until the Paralympics start, the Government still intends to drive 500,000 people off the Disability Living Allowance, writes Owen Jones.

5. The elephant in the room: Romney the pragmatist (Financial Times)

Romney's trademark used to be pragmatism and competency. So how will he survive yoked to the modern-day Republican party, asks Edward Luce.

6. We need much simpler rules to rein in the banks (Financial Times)

Rather than creating complex sets of regulations, banking authorities should focus on naming and enforcing a "bright line" which it is clear that banks should not cross, writes Nicholas Brady.

7. What GCSE English needs is more red ink (Times £)

Libby Purves writes that letting students make errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation is far crueller than altering their grades.

8. I have a confession to make – I go to church (Independent)

Andrew Martin applauds a new report that says religion makes people happier, denies that religion is irrational, and wonders why his friends are so resistant to it.

9. The Thick of It: the agony of tight spaces (Guardian)

Crises come and go but one thing never changes in this show – the politicians are stuck, with no room for manoeuvre, says Ian Martin, one of the show's writers.

10. Terrorists seek a safe haven in Strasbourg (Telegraph)

The Telegraph editorialises against the European Court of Human Rights' "interference" – it is proceeding with an appeal by two British terrorists.

Getty
Show Hide image

The internet dictionary: what is a Milkshake Duck?

Milkshake ducking is now more common than ever.

The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! Oh, apologies. We regret to inform you that the duck is a racist.

This is the gist of a joke tweet that first went viral in June 2016. It parodies a common occurrence online – of someone becoming wildly popular before being exposed as capital-B Bad. Milkshake Ducks are internet stars who quickly fall out of favour because of their offensive actions. There is no actual milkshake-drinking duck, but there are plenty of Milkshake Ducks. Ken Bone was one, and so was the Chewbacca Mask Lady. You become a Milkshake Duck (noun) after you are milkshake ducked (verb) by the internet.

Bone, who went viral for asking a question in a 2016 US presidential debate, was shunned after five days of fame when sleuths discovered his old comments on the forum Reddit. In them, he seemed to express approval for the 2014 leak of the actress Jennifer Lawrence’s nude photos and suggested that the shooting of the unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin in 2012 had been “justified”. The Chewbacca Mask Lady – a woman who went viral for a sweet video in which she laughingly wore a mask of the Star Wars character – was maligned after she began earning money for her fame while claiming God had made her go viral for “His glory”.

Milkshake ducking is now more common than ever. It embodies the ephemerality of internet fame and, like “fake news”, reveals our propensity to share things without scrutinising them first.

But the trend also exposes the internet’s inherent Schadenfreude. It is one thing for an online star to expose themselves as unworthy of attention because of their present-day actions and another for people to trawl through their online comments to find something they said in 2007, which they may no longer agree with in 2017.

For now, the whole internet loves milkshake ducking. We regret to inform you that it still doesn’t involve milkshakes. Or ducks.

Amelia Tait is a technology and digital culture writer at the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 17 August 2017 issue of the New Statesman, Trump goes nuclear