"House of Lords reform? Who gives a f***?"

Tory donors and activists give their verdict on the coalition.

In February, the Sunday Telegraph asked Tory donors, "big beasts" and young activists what they thought of the coalition, and of David Cameron's performance as prime minister. Now, as recess begins, they have returned to them - and thrown in the views of their opposite numbers in the Lib Dems too. 

The quotes firmly suggest that Tory donors don't feel the coalition is Tory enough; that it is pursuing all kinds of footling Lib Dem projects while the economy should be the focus. For example, here's Lord Harris of Peckham:

“I don’t think David Cameron is representing core Conservative voters or values — he’s a different generation to mine. I’m against gay marriage — may be it’s my age. And when our economy is faltering, I’d rather we didn’t spend hundreds of millions of pounds on [holding] an EU referendum.”

And here is the exquisitely forthright entrepreneur Hugh Osmond: 

"They need to be radical and pro-growth. And House of Lords reform? Who gives a f***? Get the economy growing at 2, 3, 4% a year then do stuff like that. Nick Clegg is a banana for getting involved with that stuff now.”

Meanwhile, the big preoccupation among the Liberal Democrats was how to disentangle the party from the Tories in voters' minds -- in time not to be wiped out at the next election. Lord Oakeshott wins runner-up prize in the colourful metaphor stakes with this:

"It will be far easier to get our Lib Dem message across at the next election if Lib Dem ministers are not still in Government playing the pantomime horse with their Conservative colleagues right up to polling day.”

You can read the full set of interviews here

David Cameron. Photo: Getty Images

Helen Lewis is deputy editor of the New Statesman. She has presented BBC Radio 4’s Week in Westminster and is a regular panellist on BBC1’s Sunday Politics.

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An alternative Trainspotting script for John Humphrys’ Radio 4 “Choose Life” tribute

Born chippy.

Your mole often has Radio 4’s Today programme babbling away comfortingly in the background while emerging blinking from the burrow. So imagine its horror this morning, when the BBC decided to sully this listening experience with John Humphrys doing the “Choose Life” monologue from Trainspotting.

“I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you’ve got Radio 4?” he concluded, as a nation cringed.

Introduced as someone who has “taken issue with modernity”, Humphrys launched into the film character Renton’s iconic rant against the banality of modern life.

But Humphrys’ role as in-studio curmudgeon is neither endearing nor amusing to this mole. Often tasked with stories about modern technology and digital culture by supposedly mischievous editors, Humphrys sounds increasingly cranky and ill-informed. It doesn’t exactly make for enlightening interviews. So your mole has tampered with the script. Here’s what he should have said:

“Choose life. Choose a job and then never retire, ever. Choose a career defined by growling and scoffing. Choose crashing the pips three mornings out of five. Choose a fucking long contract. Choose interrupting your co-hosts, politicians, religious leaders and children. Choose sitting across the desk from Justin Webb at 7.20 wondering what you’re doing with your life. Choose confusion about why Thought for the Day is still a thing. Choose hogging political interviews. Choose anxiety about whether Jim Naughtie’s departure means there’s dwindling demand for grouchy old men on flagship political radio shows. Choose a staunch commitment to misunderstanding stories about video games and emoji. Choose doing those stories anyway. Choose turning on the radio and wondering why the fuck you aren’t on on a Sunday morning as well. Choose sitting on that black leather chair hosting mind-numbing spirit-crushing game shows (Mastermind). Choose going over time at the end of it all, pishing your last few seconds on needlessly combative questions, nothing more than an obstacle to that day’s editors being credited. Choose your future. Choose life . . .”

I'm a mole, innit.