The Queen's speech: bill-by-bill

The 19 coalition bills announced today in the Queen's speech.

There were 19 bills announced in the Queen's seven-minute speech to parliament, here they are for Staggers readers.

Enterprise and Regulatory Reform Bill

Legislation to repeal unnecessary laws and to limit state inspection of businesses.

Banking Reform Bill

Measures to strengthen regulation of the financial services sector.

Implementation of the recommendations of the Independent Commission on Banking (otherwise known as the Vickers report).

Groceries Adjudicator Bill

The establishment of an independent adjudicator to ensure supermarkets deal fairly and lawfully with suppliers.

Small Donations Bill

A bill to allow charities to claim additional payments on small donations.

Energy Bill

Reform of the electricity market to deliver "secure, clean and affordable electricity" and ensure prices are fair.

Draft Water Bill

Reform of the water industry in England and Wales.

Public Service Pensions Bill

Public service pensions will be reformed in line with the recommendations of the independent commission on public service pensions (otherwise known as the Hutton report).

Draft Local Audit Bill

Abolishes the Audit Commission and establishes new arrangements for the audit of local public bodies.

Children and Families Bill

Includes measures to improve provision for disabled children and children with special educational needs, reform of family courts and more flexible parental leave for parents.

Draft Care and Support Bill

A bill to modernise adult care and support in England.

Electoral registration and Administration Bill

Introduces individual registration of voters.

House of Lords reform bill

A bill to reform "the composition" of the House of Lords. This was more tightly-worded than expected.

Crime and Courts Bill

Establishes a National Crime Agency to tackle the most serious and organised crime and strengthen border security.

Defamation Bill

New measures to protect freedom of speech and reform defamation law.

Justice and Security Bill

Will allow secret courts to hear a greater range of evidence in national security cases.

Draft Communications Bill

Legislation to allow the police and intelligence agencies to collect data on communications, such as texts and emails.

European Union (Approval of Treaty Amendment Decision) Bill

Approves the creation of the financial stability mechanism within the euro area.

Croatia Accession Bill

The government will seek parliamentary approval on the anticipated accession of Croatia to the EU.

International Aid

There was no international development bill in the speech (as Richard Darlington predicted on The Staggers last month) but the government reaffirmed its commitment to spend 0.7 per cent of gross national income on international aid from 2013.

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, proceed through the Royal Gallery in the Palace of Westminster, home to the Houses of Parliament. Photograph: Getty Images.

George Eaton is political editor of the New Statesman.

Getty
Show Hide image

Why Nigel Farage is hoovering up all the women I know

Beware young fogeys.

I can’t remember where I was when I first worked out that I was older than Nigel Farage. You’d think after that bombshell went off, you’d still be able to locate the crater. Anyway, there it is: the cut-price little Oswald Mosley is about a year younger than me.

I mention this not because I want to dwell on the nasty piece of shit, but because I’ve been having to face, at one remove, so to speak, the problem of young fogeyism. It seems to be all around. And not only that, it’s hoovering up women I know.

The first time it happened was with B——. She was going to come round last weekend, but then emailed to cancel the day before, because she was going to watch rugby – apparently there’s some kind of tournament on, but it never seems to end – with her boyfriend. How ghastly, I said, or words to that effect; I’d rather die.

She then made the Category One mistake of saying, “Rugby, cricket, all the same to me,” with a cheeky little “x” at the end of it.

I replied thus: Rugby is a violent and brutal game (the coy term is “contact sport”, which means you get to – indeed, are encouraged to – injure the opposing team as often as you can, in the absence of any other tactic) loved by fascists, or, at best, those with suspicious ideas about the order of society with which I doubt you, B——, would wish to be aligned. Also, only people of immense bulk and limited intelligence can play it. Cricket is a game of deep and subtle strategy, capable of extraordinary variation, which is appreciated across the class spectrum, and is also so democratically designed that even the less athletic – such as I – can play it. [I delete here, for your comfort, a rant of 800 or so words in which I develop my theory that cricket is a bulwark against racism, and rugby, er, isn’t.] Both are dismayingly over-represented at the national level by ex-public-school boys; cricket as a matter of historical accident (the selling-off of school playing fields under Thatcher and Major), rugby as a matter of policy. Have a lovely day watching it.

Two things to note. 1) This woman is not, by either birth or ancestry, from a part of the world where rugby is played. 2) You wouldn’t have thought she was one of nature’s rugby fans, as she considers that Jeremy Corbyn is a good person to be leading the Labour Party. (True, thousands of Tories think the same thing, but for completely different reasons.)

That’s Exhibit A. Exhibit B is my old friend C——, whom I haven’t seen for about five years or so but suddenly pops up from the past to say hello, how about a drink? I always liked C—— very much, largely because she’s very funny and, let’s be frank about this, something of a sexpot. She seems keen to bring someone over with her who, reading between the lines like a modern-day Sherlock Holmes, I deduce to be her latest partner. The thing is, she says, she’s not sure he can come, because he might be going beagling.

Beagling?

Well, she does come round (alone, thank goodness) and she’s looking even better than I remember, and is even funnier, too, and she shows me some of the pictures she has put up on her profile page on some dating site, and they’re not the kind of photographs this magazine will ever publish, let’s leave it at that. (One of them even moves.) And, as it turns out – and it doesn’t really surprise me that much – the young beagler she is seeing is a good thirty years-plus younger than she, and his photograph shows him to be all ears and curls, like a transporter mix-up between Prince Charles and the young David Gower. Like B——’s young man, he is not called Gervaise or Peregrine but may as well be.

What on Earth is going on here? Can we blame Farage? I can understand the pull of the void, but this is getting ridiculous. Do they not quite understand what they’re doing? Actually, C—— does, because she’s had her eyes open all her life, and B——, her youth and political idealism notwithstanding, didn’t exactly come down in the last shower, either.

So what is it with these young wannabe toffs – one of whom isn’t even rich? “You’d like him,” C—— says, but I’m not so sure. People who go beagling sure as hell don’t like me, and I see no reason not to return the favour.

Well, I can’t thrash this out here. C—— leaves, but not before giving me the kind of kiss that makes me wish Binkie Beagley, or whatever his name is, would just wink out of existence.

Nicholas Lezard is a literary critic for the Guardian and also writes for the Independent. He writes the Down and Out in London column for the New Statesman.

This article first appeared in the 16 February 2017 issue of the New Statesman, The New Times