Can’t take a joke? Too right
Racist, sexist or homophobic banter draws its lazy humour from exclusion.
By Laurie Penny Published 19 February 2012 12:19
Boys are funny, aren't they? I mean funny as in curious, not funny as in ha-ha. One minute they're all bogeys and pokemon and perilous attempts to set fire to their own farts, and the next they're making hilarious jokes about gang-rape. First, there was 'unilad,' the student magazine for undergraduates looking to affirm their own masculinity with a bit of joshing about how rape is just surprise sex. Then there were the 'G4'- four rich city boys whose cringeworthy email about a planned rugby bender in Dubai was leaked to the press, including 'rules' about 'laddish' behaviour like high- fiving each other during notional gang-bangs in which they would degrade the women involved. They also swore not to phone the girlfriends they had somehow managed to acquire, although this seems unlikely to remain an obstacle for long.
'Lad banter' is nothing new- but the leakiness of data online means that a large number of women can now see the way that we have always suspected some men talk about us behind our backs. Before they were chased from the internet by fire-breathing feminist hellwraiths, the jolly boys at Unilad apologised for 'going too far' and for causing offence. This is an Olympian feat of point- missage: the problem is not the offence caused but the fact that some men still think that this is an acceptable way to talk about women in or out of our earshot.
Some jokes are designed to make people feel powerful by dehumanising others. Racist, sexist or homophobic banter draws its lazy humour from exclusion, and in general, the worse a joke is, the smaller the circle of people likely to 'get' it. When people accuse women of inability to 'take a joke' when men humiliate, objectify or degrade us, they are absolutely right. The 'joke' wouldn't work if it were designed for us to appreciate, because that sort of humour is based on cruelty, on making men feel big and stiff at women's expense. Some jokes we are simply expected to 'take' rather like one might take a punch.
That this sort of misogynist table-thumping has more than a little of the playground to it is not accidental. It is learned in the playground. I remember ten years ago, in year eleven, the way the loud, overweight boy in who might have been bullied if it were not for his particular penchant for filthy banter used to speculate, as soon as the teacher left the room, as to how the genitals of the prettiest girl in English class might taste - like bacon? Like beef? Was she shaved?
I remember how she just sat there with her eyes lowered, waiting for it to stop. With hindsight I can understand the vulnerability of these spotty little underage virgins, the anxiety to prove themselves men, which meant adopting the postures of a circle of angry power that excluded all of the girls as well as not a small number of the boys. It excluded the shy, the nerdy, the obviously gay, and the one or two who had somehow learned years or decades ahead of their peers that women and girls were real human beings with dreams and desires and personal agency.
I wonder if hindsight works the same way for the rest of those boys, wherever they are now. I wonder if some of them look back and see the harm that their lairy bullying and baseless sexual boasting caused. Or perhaps not. Perhaps they just grew up into wealthy, powerful douchebags like the self-styled 'G4', entertaining heady fantasies of gang-rape as part of a language of violent sexist posturing kept entirely private from the women in their lives. That would be funny. But not funny ha-ha.
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167 comments
McMac
You couldn't really say that for certain...I can't decide if she's a fantasist, a shameless self-publicist or both. But whatever she is, she's hardly honest about it. Just followed a link to this...it's quite stunning; for its prose and its brass necked dishonesty...
"Around the time that respectable center-left publications began to run hand-wringing features on “the lost generation,” I was living with a coterie of unemployed friends in London’s Turnpike Lane, watching old science-fiction series ripped off the internet and dreaming of a future where we could be proud of ourselves. We tried terribly hard to save each other, in the way that young people do, sharing out whatever meager bits of work and welfare we could get our hands on, nursing one another ineffectually through the shock of walking out of school and college into a world that didn’t want us. It took us two years to realize that we couldn’t save one another, not one by one. We had to do it together, or not at all, all of us, the lost boys and girls of the credit crunch with no jobs, no prospects, no safe places to live, none of the things we played the game for all our young lives."
http://thenewinquiry.com/features/rootless-ruthless/
The weird thing is, the only hand-wringing features on "the lost generation" I recall, were her own in the Guardian. It's fuckin bizarre.
And how many other unemployed people have you ever met that lived in a "coterie"?
I think she's hoping she's regarded as the authentic voice of the UK street over there, since her attempt over here faltered -unsurprisingly- on account of her hyper-privileged upbringing...why not try for "ultra-chic feminist terminator" while she's at it?
All this shit is just a big fantasy in her head...who could say what she actually thinks...about men or anything else...other than looking cool and radical and getting a full-time cushy journalism gig? Maybe self-parody's the way to get it...who knows?
"As an extra question Bucky"
well who's the optimist today then andyg? i've never witnessed Buckskins answering a single direct question, let alone an extra one...
"...overweight boy...used to speculate...how the genitals of the prettiest girl in English class might taste - like bacon? Like beef?"
Doesn't that say it all. He couldn't stop thinking about food. She should of retaliated with a round of 'He's fat, he's round, he rolls along the ground...etc.'.
I admit that maybe I'm missing the point.
Laurie, while there are some important issues in your article, you seem to have conflated several issues while ignoring or misrepresenting others.
While you seem to object to women as the object of humour, you ignore the fact that there is just as much 'derogatory' humour directed towards men. Is this based on misandry, perhaps? No, of course it isn't. It is, however, based (like most humour) on stereotypes. It's not an attack on one group by another - it's just a joke. I'll take your argument seriously if you start condemning people like Jo Brand for denigrating men. I have to say, however, that I think Jo Brand is one of our funniest comic talents and I love her observations on men. And, indeed, her observations on women.
Angelica darlin. A dude is a guy. He can be a regular guy, or a non western American whose ensemble is of quality, but inappropriate for his milieu.
Hi Mr.D you doing ok? You're kinda quiet.
@Buckskins
" You know I don't do dudes. "
indeed, locally you are know as the 'receiver'. and you subsequently let your macho guard down when you tell a male poster;
"as red as your butt if I get my hands on you."
ooh er missus!! you little sauce-pot you Buckskins, Broke Back Mountain all the way...
@Mitch
"The people on here who have stated that women are as bad as men have a good point."
yet i do feel it misses the elephant in the room.
women are unbelievably rude and bitchy about other women. many many magazines and tv shows are testament to that truism. the delight the vast majority of women take in the (self-imposed) short comings of other women is stomach churning. i cant think of such vile behaviour on anywhere near such a scale between men, can you?
''she's a hypocrite''
You can't call people hypocrites because they haven't discussed issues you would like them to talk about.
So the boys who didn't join in were "the shy, the nerdy, the obviously gay" were they? Ever heard it said that women don't like nice guys, Laurie?
I'm not upset, I just like occasionally denouncing people as being others in disguise. Anything can trigger it, in your case it was the probing interest in Buckskins' view of LP.
Cue the unevitable storm of ranting from misogynists who deny that misogyny exists. The very fact that a female voice raised in protest always provokes these viciously aggressive responses proves there is a problem. It is obviously designed, however, to shut the bitches up, and sadly it usually succeeds.
racist, sexist or homophobic banter is wrong. I agree.
people are repremaanded at times for it too.
Yet, it is absolutely fine for many of our so called top (well over paid) comedians to make fun of the disabled or children with disabilities.
The law, media and comedy audience think that is fine. Ricky Gervais accepted. His Mong joke- totally accepted!!
The double standards make me furious. That we are so low to make fun of disabilities. We worry more about offending religion.
Will someone please hurry up and fertilise Laurie before she explodes . (a temporary relinquishing of her LICK-HER license will be needed tho)
Buckskins, you miss the point my dear. In one article I am led to believe by the author that to give a child a clip round the ear for behaviour that is well below the norm is wrong. On the other hand the same author is now leading me to believe that with a lack of dicipline a child will act without causing offence. Of course this child so the story goes is a boy, fat, and his lack of self dicipline is aimed at a woman. In life Buckskins, and in reality this constitutes in my book,,,,,,,a load of bollocks.
I'm afraid that once again Buckskins, your yoghurt has been waisted on your shirt. ha ha ha.
Of course you are right about these boys. But those who REALLY make girls suffer are often/usually other girls. They are particularly hard on lesbians and ugly people.
"You can't call people hypocrites because they haven't discussed issues you would like them to talk about."
Yes you can. If there are issues that need to be discussed in order to stop them being hypocrital. If I set myself up as, say, a paragon in the field of human rights, then spent all my time writing articles about my local Morrison's failure to stock organic ciabatta and citing it as a significant abuse, I'd think hypocrite was the very least I'd expect.
And, I'm not even trying to be funny. I consider that a perfectly apposite analogy.
"An actual and increasing culture of gang rape or a bunch of immature dicks making stupid comments online. So why does she duck it? I wonder?"
Well, think of it like this: the neo-Nazis are a nasty bunch, but Tories who dress up as the SS for 'comedy' and stag-night purposes are equally vile. It is just to speak out against either, and, if you speak out against the lesser evils it naturally follows that you are condemning the worse. As far as journalism goes the other article was the more important one though. And it did obviously require research rather than just a look on someone's blog - this is one of the pitfalls of the twitterarti world, everything gets out of proportion.
Oh dear, I agree with you.
Jackass, Andy is a dude, and you know darn well he is. What you do is your business, but please quit playing dumb. We live in the enlightened age so don't deny it. To tell you the truth most Dutch guys are sissies. Get out the closet and fess up. You're among friends here...Aintcha...?
I was going to post a comment about the actual article but then read the comments on here and thought,yeah, don't bother.
You sad people just want to quarrel endlessly with a lot of hot air.
Why can't you post a comment or two and leave it at that?
Jankaas
"women are unbelievably rude and bitchy about other women. i cant think of such vile behaviour on anywhere near such a scale between men, can you?"
Only in the Houses of Parliament - PMQs for instance.
"Agreed, word fascism is a terrible thing."
you fuckin big pussy
"word fascism"?...jesus wept Mitch, get a grip
Experience has taught me to trust less what people say but more what they do. Rugby players bragging about their planned activities on tour is pathetic but it may not reflect what they actually will do. I have met men who genuinely regard woman as mere potential points on score card but they are few and far between. Strangely such men are often very popular with woman. Mere braggarts are more common however
"Oh dear, I agree with you."
and that's a problem?...because agreeing with somebody you don't like is an issue for you? Why? You either have a mind of your own or you don't. You should be swayed by the validity of the argument, not the person making it. The latter will lead you down all sorts of murky byways. Why do I feel I'm talking to a 15 year old old?
Anyway...you know I'm fuckin right...all the time. Being wrong's just a facility I lack. I've just gotta live with it...fell my pain.
A well made point Laurie,
and tend to agree with you as puerile 'ironic' post political correct humour now becoming acceptable which correlates with recession and a right wing govt. with all the religious faith false equation with 'morality' and restoration of economic and therefore social directional narrowing of hierachy allowing bigots thinking that sexism and racism ok now- one just has to see the US republican primaries for serious evidence, more concerning should be the economic position of women by consequence of austerity and associated stage inequality.
Sadly, multi-culturalism rather than confronting racism with assimilation allowed both religious and cultural sexism to take centre stage.
That 50% of the population as women are referred to as a 'minority' group shows how far equality has to go.
Ironic humour now seems to mean attacking minorities or the powerless and allows divisive scapegoating in attitude to mollify 'respectable' society in terms of political programmed inequality. The same could be said of Greek crisis of how this has been nationally presented.
'fell my pain'...or 'feel' it, even
This is one of those "Freudian Stopped Clock moments"
Mr Divine, may I reming you of horizontal lines. Now would you like to say it again? Besides this beating has embedded itself on Buckskins brain.
I take your point above though and have to say......strongly agree.
@Spud
"Now, having read that, which do you consider the more relevant for a supposed feminist to raise?"
not sure i get you right here. do you mean that one has to be a feminist to 'get' this awful situation? to my mind it is more a law & order issue, regardless of sex.
or, that feminists could never report on anything other than at least physical assault when reporting on abuse?
or..?
A little over a year ago, there was a discussion over at thethirdestate about someone who offended LP being insulted from the platform in a public meeting for laughs. I guess offensive language is okay if you do it in public and get a cheap laugh.
@Mitch
even at PMQ i've never heard personal insults at another's appearance/weight/wardrobe/etc as is the norm in most women's magazines. i still reckon that of the mental harm inflicted upon the average women, the vast majority is from other women. even if it isn't meant to harm by design.
Andy, do you prefer Angelica? What do you teach and at what level. You don't have to answer. I'm just being nosy.
or..?
always taking the safe option. Never rubbing up against those oh-so-awkward race or culture issues.
She wouldn't want to end up doing a 'Germaine Greer U-turn' would she; caught between her radical feminist ego and her ultra-progressive non-judgemental culturally relativist id.
It's slick, it's savvy but it's cowardly and lame.
Hi Stuart, you don't like it? we don't give a rats ass. Fuck off to another thread. All they want to do is talk nasty about sweet Laurie anyway.
Poor old Penny alays looking for ways to divide the world, people and the sexes in an effort to get on!!!!!
Marx rules ok?
Buckskins get on your pony and drink your milk but don't make the cows jealous you little old Cowpoker you and make sure mummy can't see what you are doing.
"word fascism"?...jesus wept Mitch, get a grip.
Oh yea. Look at these, all your own: 'rampant push', 'commonality and solidarity', 'bourgeois liberal ideologies', 'tradition of indigenous hostility'. Now, you once said you 'mopped up' Orwell while in prison, but this is a masterclass in what not to do if you've read Politics and the English language. It's also a load of wank and you don't even get close to explaining yourself:
'I've just looked back at that and it isn't exactly clearer, is it?'
Nope. But somehow you make it stick. Conclusion: fascism (used as a swear-word).
You need to celebrate your diversity!
Mitch, Angelica is not Laurie. Really not. Laurie writes shite, but what Angelica writes is aspiring to be shite.
"..and that's a problem?...because agreeing with somebody you don't like is an issue for you?"
No, I have rather set myself as defender of Laurie, so agreeing with you is anathema. Not that I really care though.
"Why do I feel I'm talking to a 15 year old old?"
Because you're naturally aloof, superior, condescending.
Jankass
"...never heard personal insults at another's appearance/weight/wardrobe/etc as is the norm in most women's magazines."
Fair point. Perhaps it is just that women like belittling each-other, gives them a sense of 'belonging'.
Dunno
"Jackass"
yes Sucksdicks..?
"Get out the closet"
sorry, didn't know it was your turn, it's all your now...
I can't believe the NS is now so crap and little read it allows garbage like this to be printed
FFS get some grown up stuff on here
You never know you might improve your circulation
Why is the Tag 'Feminism'? I don't see the direct connection between rape and feminism. I thought it was a legal definition and the majority of Members of Parliament who vote on legislation are, and always have been male.
@ jankass
'i think you're being too kind. i think women are far worse to their own sex than men are.'
Totally agree. Just look around you at how women behave towards other women; self-serving and systematic character assassinations are the norm, techniques learnt from tv shows, magazines and books written by women for women.
If Laurie Penny wants to make a more hard-hitting and original point (that will upset people and shake things up, but that's par for the course as a self-proclaimed radical, surely?!) she needs to bring up the fact that the sisterhood is far from being anywhere near what the name implies.
But I guess men are to feminists what the Jews were to the Nazis...
Mitch, that's exactly where you are wrong dear. Buckskins doesn't have a view, really. His comment above gives testimony to that. You see what he has just commented on he calls "shite" and yet it is the comments of which he has made that he has referred to and not LP's or mine. We were simply giving him the chance to express himself but unfortunately he is unable to. He's right of course, he's shite.
"Orwell while in prison, but this is a masterclass in what not to do if you've read Politics and the English language."
But not a dead metaphor or a meaningless expression amongst them Mitch.
"It's also a load of wank and you don't even get close to explaining yourself:"
But how could you know "It's also a load of wank" if you couldn't understand it?...and it's hardly my fault if your literacy skills aren't up to the job. Then again, you're all together 'dumber-down'..I mean, look at the kinda figure you regard as a serious political commentator.
"Conclusion: fascism (used as a swear-word)."
Yeah, cos it's a word that just isn't thrown around enough untied to its actual meanings. I think you'd find old Eric would be much more likely to take exception to "fascism (used as a swear-word)." than anything I've ever written Mitch. As far as I recall, he was quite exercised on fascism and what it meant.
"The word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies 'something not desirable'.....[Words] of this kind are often used in a consciously dishonest way. That is, the person who uses them has his own private definition, but allows his hearer to think he means something quite different."
Feminism is just another splinter in the 'divide and rule' policy adopted and adapted by the patriarchy and its groupies - homemakers supplied with dedicated servants such as nannies, housekeepers and cooks - not to mention outsourcing services.
Even career women are obliged to employ part-timers for a little light housework and ironing.
The rebellion by feminists broke in the career door and allowed careerist females to get on.
Much the same result with Mrs Pankhurst and the Suffragettes. Who was the first female MP?. Yes, Mrs Astor who came a cropper when she berated Winston Churchill for drunken and loutish behaviour. Of course she was a Tory. And the women's vote has more of less kept the Tory peacock in charge.
Solution: Keep outdoing male youf in the classroom and university and get those jobs and directorships.
Watch out for that rum cove, Gove. See he doesn't introduce some sleight hand policies where all mummies' little boys and daddies' little girls prosper.
Crippled Females
Ah so, I'm not quite sure that I follow Bucky. Are you then saying that I am a man called Angelica, whose assemble is of quality, but who is outside of her/his social surroundings? See my point of confusion Bucky?
"always taking the safe option. Never rubbing up against those oh-so-awkward race or culture issues."
so what specific race and culture are being avoided Spud? i see that Guardian article as law & order, not gender or anything else.
"She wouldn't want to end up doing a 'Germaine Greer U-turn' would she; caught between her radical feminist ego and her ultra-progressive non-judgemental culturally relativist id."
could be so, it happens to the best of us? here's a tune along those lines from an Uber feminist, who doesn't mince her words when it comes to exposing 'culture';
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVoyWQSNr8I
(some of the clip is in english, and well worth the wait)
Jackass, you are in need of a life old timer. You spend way to much of your time in here.
Buckskins dear, I am hardly angelic, but why would I prefer Angelica?
Bucky dear, I shall ask the same question as before. What is your view on the above article? o far you have failed to have a view on any of the articles. Do you have an opinion on anything? If so do tell.
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