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Laurie Penny: The 15 best slogans from today's student rally

"Is this the queue for Justin Bieber tickets?"

The sun is shining brightly on Horse Guards Parade as 30,000 screaming students with drums, whistles and placards holler their disconcertion at the coming bonfire of public education and public services. The parade is heaving and a brass band is playing the Liberty Bell, and teenagers on their first ever protest are dancing in the streets.

This is more like it. A considered report will follow, but here, in the interim, are a selection of the best chants and placards:

1. LGBT caucus: We're here! We're queer! We can't afford nine grand a year!

2. Hoodie-wearing sixth former with sign: Forget university, I can't even afford college any more. Where's my future?

3. Busted lookalike: This is not what I voted for!

4. Cortauld institute: Education is not a business! Keep your hands off my arts!

5. Man wearing a wig and suit made entirely from Monopoly notes: Do I look like I'm made of money? (see picture below)

6. Bath students: We are bath! We will march! (This one needs a bit of work).

7. Tiny teenager in a tutu with a megaphone: Marx was right! Marx was right all along!

8. Her friend's banner: Scrap bonuses, not EMA, TWATS!!!

9. Socialist students: Tories! Putting the N in cuts!

10. Handpainted placard: If it's Browne, flush it down!

Student protestor, 10 November 2010. Credit: Getty Images

11. Emo kid with sign: Is this the queue for Justin Bieber tickets?

12. Scotland: Gonnae no dae that!

13. Scotland: Free education - Scottish style not USA style!

14. London teenager with a placard: Fuck this, I'm moving to Scotland!

15. Polite hand-drawn slogan by Bath university student: I very much regret voting for the Lib Dems!

Laurie Penny is a contributing editor to the New Statesman. She is the author of five books, most recently Unspeakable Things .

Dan Kitwood/Getty
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I believe only Yvette Cooper has the breadth of support to beat Jeremy Corbyn

All the recent polling suggests Andy Burnham is losing more votes than anyone else to Jeremy Corbyn, says Diana Johnson MP.

Tom Blenkinsop MP on the New Statesman website today says he is giving his second preference to Andy Burnham as he thinks that Andy has the best chance of beating Jeremy.

This is on the basis that if Yvette goes out first all her second preferences will swing behind Andy, whereas if Andy goes out first then his second preferences, due to the broad alliance he has created behind his campaign, will all or largely switch to the other male candidate, Jeremy.

Let's take a deep breath and try and think through what will be the effect of preferential voting in the Labour leadership.

First of all, it is very difficult to know how second preferences will switch. From my telephone canvassing there is some rather interesting voting going on, but I don't accept that Tom’s analysis is correct. I have certainly picked up growing support for Yvette in recent weeks.

In fact you can argue the reverse of Tom’s analysis is true – Andy has moved further away from the centre and, as a result, his pitch to those like Tom who are supporting Liz first is now narrower. As a result, Yvette is more likely to pick up those second preferences.

Stats from the Yvette For Labour team show Yvette picking up the majority of second preferences from all candidates – from the Progress wing supporting Liz to the softer left fans of Jeremy – and Andy's supporters too. Their figures show many undecideds opting for Yvette as their first preference, as well as others choosing to switch their first preference to Yvette from one of the other candidates. It's for this reason I still believe only Yvette has the breadth of support to beat Jeremy and then to go on to win in 2020.

It's interesting that Andy has not been willing to make it clear that second preferences should go to Yvette or Liz. Yvette has been very clear that she would encourage second preferences to be for Andy or Liz.

Having watched Andy on Sky's Murnaghan show this morning, he categorically states that Labour will not get beyond first base with the electorate at a general election if we are not economically credible and that fundamentally Jeremy's economic plans do not add up. So, I am unsure why Andy is so unwilling to be clear on second preferences.

All the recent polling suggests Andy is losing more votes than anyone else to Jeremy. He trails fourth in London – where a huge proportion of our electorate is based.

So I would urge Tom to reflect more widely on who is best placed to provide the strongest opposition to the Tories, appeal to the widest group of voters and reach out to the communities we need to win back. I believe that this has to be Yvette.

The Newsnight focus group a few days ago showed that Yvette is best placed to win back those former Labour voters we will need in 2020.

Labour will pay a massive price if we ignore this.

Diana Johnson is the Labour MP for Hull North.