The Friday Arts Diary

Our cultural picks for the week ahead.

Art

Spread across the city, Edinburgh - Festival Promenade, 2 August – 2 September

All Edinburgh Festival punters soon realise that the main problem facing them is how to use their finite time when presented with the choice of such a vast multitude of shows. One answer is to take part in a Festival Promenade. Led by Artist Anthony Schrag, these walks will take you across some of the city’s historical monuments and public spaces, where a series of renowned artists have been invited to create outdoor art in what is the Edinburgh Festival’s most ambitious commissioning programme to date. Artists include Turner Prize winner Susan Philips, Callum Innes and Andrew Miller. If a walk in a park is too conventional for you, Schrag will also be offering climbing tours, alleyway tours, art pub crawls, and afternoon nap tours.

Film

Curzon Soho, London, W1D – Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry,  10 – 16 August

In Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry journalist and filmmaker Alison Klayman documents the life of China's most internationally revered contemporary artist. From 2008 to 2010, she accompanies Ai at piviotal moments of his work, family life, and political struggle. The resulting exploration merges art and activism in a portrait, not just of one man, but of contemporary China.

Theatre

The National Theatre, SE1 - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, 24 July - 12 September

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time is a stage version of Mark Haddon's award-winning novel of the same name, which follows the adventures of an autistic teenager, Christopher, as he tries to unravel the mystery surrounding the death of his neighbour's dog. The play was adapted by playwright Simon Stephens and is directed by Marianne Elliott. The performances of Luke Treadaway, Paul Ritter and Nicola Walker have been described by several newspapers as "stellar" and "poignant".

TV

More 4 - What’s my body worth? 13 August, 10pm

In this age of austerity many are considering alternative ways of supplementing their income, yet few have ventured as far as trying to profit from their own embodiment. In this programme journalist Storm Theunissen explores the ethics, legality and stark reality of the industry which preys upon those desperate enough to sell their body - whether it’s working in the sex trade, or selling bodily materials, such as eggs, fluids and even organs.

Music

Assembly Rooms, Edinburgh - Brazil! Brazil! Presents Latin Live, 2–26 August

The people behind Brazil! Brazil!, who wowed Edinburgh in 2010, return to the festival to get audiences on their feet with favela funk and samba reggae. Acts include Magary Lord, Black Semba and Paloma Gomez. Latin Live promises to be an energizing blend of music, dance and vibrant costumes.

Edinburgh Fringe promoters hold up reflective letters (Image: Getty)
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7 things we learned from the Comic Relief Love, Actually sequel

Even gay subtext is enough to get you killed.

After weeks of hype, the Love, Actually Comic Relief short sequel, Red Nose Day, Actually, finally aired tonight. It might not compare to Stephen’s version of events, but was exactly what you’d expect, really – the most memorable elements of each plotline recreated and recycled, with lots of jokes about the charity added in. So what did Red Nose Day, Actually actually teach us?

Andrew Lincoln’s character was always a creep

It was weird to show up outside Keira Knightley’s house in 2003, and it’s even weirder now, when you haven’t seen each other in almost a decade. Please stop.

It’s also really weird to bring your supermodel wife purely to show her off like a trophy. She doesn’t even know these people. She must be really confused. Let her go home, “Mark”.

Kate Moss is forever a great sport

Judging by the staggering number of appearances she makes at these things, Kate Moss has never said no to a charity appearance, even when she’s asked to do the most ridiculous and frankly insulting things, like pretend she would ever voluntarily have sex with “Mark”.

Self-service machines are a gift and a curse

In reality, Rowan Atkinson’s gift-wrapping enthusiast would have lasted about one hour in Sainsbury’s before being replaced by a machine.

Colin Firth’s character is an utter embarrassment, pull yourself together man

You’re a writer, Colin. You make a living out of paying attention to language and words. You’ve been married to your Portuguese-speaking wife for almost fourteen years. You learned enough to make a terrible proposal all those years ago. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t learned enough to sustain a single conversation with your family? Do you hate them? Kind of seems that way, Colin.

Even gay subtext is enough to get you killed

As Eleanor Margolis reminds us, a deleted storyline from the original Love, Actually was one in which “the resplendent Frances de la Tour plays the terminally ill partner of a “stern headmistress” with a marshmallow interior (Anne Reid).” Of course, even in deleted scenes, gay love stories can only end in death, especially in 2003. The same applies to 2017’s Red Nose Day actually. Many fans speculated that Bill Nighy’s character was in romantic love with his manager, Joe – so, reliably, Joe has met a tragic end by the time the sequel rolls around.  

Hugh Grant is a fantasy Prime Minister for 2017

Telling a predatory POTUS to fuck off despite the pressure to preserve good relations with the USA? Inspirational. No wonder he’s held on to office this long, despite only demonstrating skills of “swearing”, “possibly harassing junior staff members” and “somewhat rousing narration”.

If you get together in Christmas 2003, you will stay together forever. It’s just science.

Even if you’ve spent nearly fourteen years clinging onto public office. Even if you were a literal child when you met. Even if you hate your wife so much you refuse to learn her first language.

Now listen to the SRSLY Love, Actually special:

Anna Leszkiewicz is a pop culture writer at the New Statesman.