Tom Ravenscroft's music blog

I appear to have been made DJ to the Royal Wedding. What shall I play?

It's just occurred to me that I'll be doing a radio show on Friday 29 April from 21:00 to 00:00. That kind of makes me the official Royal Wedding DJ.

I'm surprised people aren't making more of a deal of this, to be honest, but being a fairly humble servant today I have just quietly gone about picking some records for the special day that I think might be appropriate.

The first song I've chosen is "Underwear" by FM Belfast. It's about running around in your underwear and there is a live version out now that sounds very much like it is taking place at a street party. Very appropriate.

 

Next is Wax Idols and "William Says", a very messy, noisy record made by a group of very messy-looking American girls. Apart from the convenient title, I think Kate and Wills might just really like it.

02 Gooey Gooey (WILLIAM SAYS) by waxidols  

Finally, there's Weekend and "End Times". It will be the weekend and thanks to the lovely couple a rather long one; this is my way of thanking them. "End Times" is one of those records that when the sun is out gets you terribly excited that something wonderful will happen if you just step out of the house, lets all step out together. Party!

 

Tom Ravenscroft's radio show is on BBC 6 Music at 9pm every Friday.

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Why do the words “soup, swoop, loop de loop” come to mind every time I lift a spoon to my lips?

It’s all thanks to Barry and Anita.

A while ago I was lending a friend the keys to our house. We keep spare keys in a ceramic pot I was given years ago by someone who made it while on an art-school pottery course. “That’s er . . . quite challenging,” the friend said of the pot.

“Is it?” I replied. “I’d stopped noticing how ugly it is.”

“Then it’s a grunty,” she said.

“A what?” I asked.

“A grunty. It’s something you have in your house that’s hideous and useless but you’ve stopped noticing it completely, so it’s effectively invisible.”

I was much taken with this idea and realised that as well as “grunties” there are also “gruntyisms”: things you say or do, though the reason why you say or do them has long since been forgotten. For example, every time we drink soup my wife and I say the same thing, uttered in a strange monotone: we say, “Soup, swoop, loop de loop.” How we came to say “soup, swoop, loop de loop” came about like this.

For a married couple, the years between your mid-thirties and your late forties might be seen as the decade of the bad dinner party. You’re no longer looking for a partner, so the hormonal urge to visit crowded bars has receded, but you are still full of energy so you don’t want to stay in at night, either. Instead, you go to dinner parties attended by other couples you don’t necessarily like that much.

One such couple were called Barry and Anita. Every time we ate at their house Barry would make soup, and when serving it he would invariably say, “There we are: soup, swoop, loop de loop.” After the dinner party, as soon as we were in the minicab going home, me and Linda would start drunkenly talking about what an arse Barry was, saying to each other, in a high-pitched, mocking imitation of his voice: “Please do have some more of this delicious soup, swoop, loop de loop.” Then we’d collapse against each other laughing, convincing the Algerian or Bengali taxi driver once again of the impenetrability and corruption of Western society.

Pretty soon whenever we had soup at home, Linda and I would say to each other, “Soup, swoop, loop de loop,” at first still ridiculing Barry, but eventually we forgot why we were saying it and it became part of the private language every couple develop, employed long after we’d gratefully ceased having soupy dinners with Barry and Anita.

In the early Nineties we had an exchange student staying with us for a year, a Maori girl from the Cook Islands in the southern Pacific. When she returned home she took the expression “soup, swoop, loop de loop” with her and spread it among her extended family, until finally the phrase appeared in an anthropological dissertation: “ ‘Soup swoop, loop de loop.’ Shamanistic Incantations in Rarotongan Food Preparation Rituals” – University of Topeka, 2001. 

This article first appeared in the 21 July 2016 issue of the New Statesman, The English Revolt