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'Shortly there will be an election, in which Labour will increase its majority'
Frankly, even I'm embarrassed by him.
Mayor of Birmingham? Gawd, even brummies aren't that thick!
I never ever tire of reading this :^)
It's just brilliant - the purple prose, the hyperbole, the complete wrongness of the predictions.
Perfect - just perfect.
Two and a half years later this is still utterly hilarious. Cleese and Palin could not have done better.
"Shortly there will be an election, in which Labour will increase its majority, and in so doing utterly shatter the glass paradigm of cyclical politics which has contained us for the century since 1906."
Ah, those halcyon New Labour days when people thought it was smart to use words like 'paradigm' and 'cyclical'. And then we all saw that the Emperor had no clothes, and once the scales were lifted from our eyes it was impossible for the voters to be fooled again..
Bang! Bang! You're dead!
It's only Cowboys and Indians, isn't it?
Oops! It's a real election.
This article is better than Ibuprofen.
And you now want to be Mayor of Birmingham?
Jog on you pathetic, expenses fiddling, gurning turd.
You haven't even got the bollox to stay on in Erdington. You are running scared from your "Portillo Moment".
It is thanks to your delusions of competence, and to the car crash of Britain's economic status that it has been shown that New Labour has failed.
Thank you so much for laying waste to this once great nation. May you rot in hell.
"I do not really have a thesis; no point to prove."
ha ha ha how does it feel to not be able to spin and con your way to percieved competance. You have given us a decade of disaster, and the good achieved cannot be sustained without more magic formula (debt), so nothing has been achieved. I encourage you and all labour MP's to walk out into the blizzard and never return. Tell your children you have ruined their future.
Redefreiheit nicht erlaubt.
His "1,000 Year Reich" will barely last 12 years and he will die a broken and defeated man.
This poisonous despicable little man is so piss full of his own importance...
His little ditty has to be number 1 on the international toe curling cringe list!
What is a "glass paradigm"? It is the thing the Queen of Hearts used to rest her Flamingoes on during the Croquet Match in Alice in Wonderland. John Prescott is the expert here, however.
Where did they dig this guy up from? credit where credit is due he could become a comedian or satire writer once his labour career gets binned next year. Nice one Guido
''If it bleeds, we can kill it''
Keep your f-ing mouth shut from now on.
Brrrr! this global warming is freezing my nuts off!!
Yes, the article was absolutely hysterically funny but don't be surprised if Labour do increase their majority - after all, that's what the postal vote ( remember their "Banana Republic" tactics in B'ham in 2005?)is all about. It worked for them in Glasgow last year, too, didn't it?
Also - With sneaky plans afoot to leave the count until the following morning, it's not just the BNP who should be concerned about ballot box tampering, either. (BNP are going to put their own seals on the ballot boxes in Barking!)Labour will cling on by fair means or foul. You have been warned.
This guy is ill, it's really quite sad but I couldn't help laughing!
Laugh much? I nearly sh@t myself.
Well, it didn't happen, thankfully. And Mr. Simon himself is no longer an MP. So much for 'we’ll never go home' - now he has, and some 100+ of his fellow Labour MPs went with him.
This would be ideal material for pseuds corner of private eye. It should be cherished and never be allowed to be disposed of. A national comedic treasure.
Thanks for leaving this up.
Always cheers me up.
Utter ZanuLab plonker.
So this is what happens when you combine a sony vaio, leftie idiot and quality bugle.
How flipping good is this ?? Staggers should be careful that this is not nicked from the website by the British Museum because this is a kind of Rosetta Stone bridging politics and comedy. Future generations will look back on this gem and start battles over who should be allowed to display this and whether a new museum should be constructed with National Lottery money to display this example of our heritage to best effect.
Just think, it could share space with that goldmine discovered by the sad old man with a metal detector somewhere near Birmingham...
p.s. Howsabout getting a Sion Simon soundalike to read this out, thesp style for a CD to be released after the next General Election to help MPs who will not be eligible for parachute payments due to those pesky expenses revelations ?
Sion Simon is Labour MP for Birmingham, Erdington. A former newspaper columnist, he is a member of the Treasury Select Committee and Chair of Labour's law and order manifesto group.