Nonstarters: this week's worst kickstarter video

The Ostrich Pillow.

This week’s Nonstarter betrays the name of the column: it’s a clever idea executed well, and has already smashed its funding target like Geoff Capes bursting through a fake brick wall. It is, however, a damning indictment of the world that made it necessary.

And I say necessary because people have grasped for it with desperate, shaking hands - this is not a flourish of technological frippery like the Notice, but the promise of refuge from the information hurricane of modern work.

The Ostrich Pillow is a soft bag you pull over your head and jam your hands into when things get weird and you need a hole to cry in. You slip it on during brief moments of workplace respite and lie face-down, looking like some sort of crap alien that is eating its own hands.

Yet despite how defeated and weird you look from the seat next to you, you drift off to sleep with a happy smile on your face and a fading image of a rotating cake demonstrating how your power nap will make you 34 per cent more productive.* 

At least, according to the adorably soporific pitch video. The reality is more likely to involve 10 minutes of anxiety with your lower face pressed against breath-moistened desktop, breathing your own stale coffee reek and enduring sleepless visions of spreadsheets like a depressive’s reworking of Tron.

Then there is a tap on your shoulder. You flop up helplessly with your hands pressed to your bulbous grey head like Munch’s Scream, flailing to pull the damn thing off as your MD asks you when you’ll be able to send feedback on his last email. 

With this product, it matters little whether the end result actually gives people their promised shelter. More impressive is the fact the makers have, quite literally, sold a dream.

* since I am not Ben Goldacre, I will simply leave this without comment and turn to the reader with raised eyebrows and mouth set in a cynical line.

Fred Crawley is group editor for asset finance & accounting at VRL Financial News.

Some sort of crap alien that is eating its own hands. Photograph: youtube.com

By day, Fred Crawley is editor of Credit Today and Insolvency Today. By night, he reviews graphic novels for the New Statesman.

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Brexit campaign publishes private phone numbers of Eurosceptic rivals

Leave.EU hate the EU and hate Vote Leave who also hate the EU. What could go wrong?

Remember Leave.EU? Not to be confused with Vote Leave, which is the pro-Brexit group led by one of the former mayors with Hitler tourettes, or with Grassroots Out, which was the group with the neon green ties, or with UKIP. Even though Grassroots Out, UKIP and Leave.EU are all funded by Arron Banks, a multi-millionaire with interests in the British Virgin Islands who lives in a mansion once owned by the prog rock musician Mike Oldfield. Glad that’s all clear.

Anyway, Leave.EU still exists, even after Vote Leave was designated as the official Leave campaign – spending more of its time attacking the conduct, tactics and key figures of Vote Leave rather than, you know, that big EU thing they’re supposed to hate so much.

One of their main sources of frustration is Vote Leave’s refusal to have UKIP leader Nigel Farage as its representative in any of the EU debates. So, obviously, rather than pressing their case through normal channels, Leave.EU did what any respectable organisation would, and emailed the private phone numbers of senior figures at the BBC and Vote Leave out to its entire mailing list.

Which, needless to say, upset those people. Douglas Carswell sent a message asking for his number to be removed, so of course Leave.EU published that too.

No wonder the Brexiters are so opposed to international cooperation when they can’t even keep the peace on their own side. 

I'm a mole, innit.