BBC Television Centre: the fairness was what made the magic
At BBC TV Centre everyone was equal - equally lost, that is.
By Alan White Published 16 July 2012 15:11
No doubt the encomiums for BBC Television Centre will gush forth from the Great and Good over the next day or two. And no doubt for most non-media types the outpouring of grief will be completely inexplicable. Why churn out thousands of words over the loss of a hunk of bricks and mortar - and an ugly one at that?
Well. I'm no television grandee, nor am I a celebrity who presided over the studios. I'm just some bloke, who worked there every now and again. And actually, I think that's quite important.
As a child growing up in the sticks, I remember the opening credits of Wogan's chat show, "Live from Shepherd's Bush"; the opening picture of TVC, perhaps illuminated by searchlights, as if The Shepherd's Bush was a huge donut-shaped slab, there simply to accommodate Terry and his immaculately-coiffured hair. I remember the mischievous insurgent Kenny Everett attempting to scale the side of Terry's fortress, though I can't remember the context for this sketch. And I remember, of course, all those intriguing little occasions when the shroud would be ripped away - Children In Need skits where the cameras would pan out of the studio and follow our stars down the corridors. And I remember, of course, the Blue Peter garden.
And from that distance at that age, The Shepherd's Bush seemed a mysterious magic factory. And then I remember finally visiting the place as a young teen because the Record Breakers host Kris Akabusi had for some reason invited some kids from our school, and he took us to the Blue Peter garden, which I'd assumed was a sort of rolling, verdant Capability Brown job at the back of The Shepherd's Bush but was in fact a tiny allotment behind a studio made to look an awful lot bigger by deft camera work, and I remember thinking: "Is that it?"
And to cap it off I was then in the audience for Record Breakers (Shrove Tuesday edition) and Mr Akabusi said, "I'm in the biggest room of tossers the world has ever seen" and the camera swung on to my 14-year-old face but not the frying pan and pancake I was holding, thus failing to provide a vital piece of context, and I believe my mother still has the VHS of this.
The whole place was underwhelming. It just seemed like a grubby collection of corridors conjoining some similarly shabby studios. The only bits that appeared in any way tidy were the bits you actually saw on the TV. The News At Nine 'O' Clock desk was immaculate. The studio around it looked like Miss Haversham's living room after she'd been dead for a couple of years.
And then a strange perception hit me, as I was watching the TV some days later. Yes - that is it - and isn't that rather magical in itself? All these fantastic programmes you're watching - they're being churned out by some rather panicked fellow humans, tripping over each other and swearing, in a building reminiscent of your local A&E ward.
Everything about the building is stupid, and no doubt our right wing commentators who love to lay into the institution would see much that's telling (on this subject, I always feel those who moan about left-wing bias have never worked here, where everything is chaotic, last minute - the very notion the corporation is organised enough to insert systematic prejudice into its reports is hard to swallow).
There's a fantastic gift shop full of hard-to-acquire DVDs and tapes, but for some reason they've dumped it in the middle of the building so the only people likely to go there on any given day are staff and a few people on walking tours. No one gets to use it, and that's fair. Every room looks the same (which is fair), and they're all laid out on pretty similar corridors (which is fair), which means when you work there for the first time you'll spend half your working week trying to find the way back from the toilet. And then you notice half the people walking past you have a sort of concerned look on their face, not wishing to give away the fact they're also entirely lost and ten minutes late for a meeting. Fair.
The catering is pretty terrible but if it's any consolation, Bruce Forsyth is probably eating the same crappy sandwich you are. The wrap party for one show I was working on had a load of cheap booze, which ran out at about 9.30pm. Fortunately, I was able to pinch a load more from the party a few doors down from me. It turns out the Eggheads (I think it was, anyway), didn't need quite as many beers as the show full of hellraising celebs. But they got the same amount, because that's fair.
I got my parents a pass to see the show on which I was working. My mum popped to the loo. As she passed him in the corridor, Lord Sugar held a door for her, after which she talked about him for two weeks running. The place is emphatically state-funded, egalitarian, and it's fair, fair, fair. Call me a handwringing, socialist blowhard, but in this instance I think that's part of the magic.
You go into the centre of the Donut for a fag and to think about life. Standing opposite you is a famous actor or comedian, also having a fag and thinking about life. Then some woman in Strictly Come Dancing, replete with ballgown, joins you both. And for a moment, you want to remark on this slightly surreal situation, but you don't, because what's so odd about three humans having a fag and a think about life?
Later on, I write a book, and the BBC gets me on every now and again to talk about it. At one point they phone me on a Saturday after I've been in the pub for four hours and ask me to go on Newsnight, which I do, somewhat rat arsed, talking about a subject about which I have absolutely no idea. But it doesn't matter, not really, because nothing really works in this building, least of all me, and we sort of muddle through without too many disasters, and even though I've not exactly covered myself in glory and I'm pretty sure Stephanie Flanders has clocked that I'm hammered and directed her questions away from me before I pull my Christmas jumper off, tie it round my head and start singing Jerusalem, the media savvy, smooth Paddick, the militant Claire Soloman and I are all treated politely and are deferentially escorted back through the shabby to our taxis home, because that's fair.
And all this is just the experiences of some bloke who spent a bit of time there. If you want more, then find yourself an evening to watch this.
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16 comments
What a shame that your article has attracted anti BBC sentiments.
They'll miss it when its gone.
They might be happy paying right wing Sky Tv £50 + per month for the privilege of advert drenched television but I'll stick with the beeb.
I bet these same tits moan about the NHS.
Where's that BBC stiff upper lip and sangfroid commentary gone? Oh, for the days of John Snagge, forget the Goon Show, and that wonderful voice describing the Oxford-Cambridge boat race and the Henley Regatta. Gosh, those blazers.
Still times change. We can't expect the Beeb to remain frozen in time.
It's not bias, but the only query raised on the BBC service concerned Chinese or Asian athletes.
Turn down the volume on that lesser breed stuff.
Thank goodness the Jamaicans won the 100 metre Olympic sprint. The UK is beginning to sound a lot like the 51st states of the USA.
Not surprising, we suppose The body language from the athletes is SO Americano.
No use wishing for the England of Johnny Major.
Coneheads
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What total bo***cks! The BBC couldn't be more of a right wing establishment if it tried! Its news is so biased it's a joke, the nepotism in the place is out of control, its full of upper middle class English millionaires who pretend to be all cosy and one of us. Its one of the biggest royal supporters there is
so please explain to me how the BBC could be considered a left wing establishment? If the place is falling apart what are they spending our British Broadcasting Corporation enforced tax money (referred to as a TV licence) on? What other TV corporation or any kind of company is allowed by law to force the public to buy their products without a choice? And don't tell me we don't have to have a TV or computer screen in our homes this is 2012 the BBC do not own all technology media. The technology exists to shut off reception of the BBC if we don't want it so there really is no excuse for the archaic law of having to buy a TV licence. By the way Mr White why are you not even embarrassed to admit the BBC got you on to plug your book isn't advertising the thing they reckon they don't do?
What total bo***cks! The BBC couldn't be more of a right wing establishment if it tried! Its news is so biased it's a joke, the nepotism in the place is out of control, its full of upper middle class English millionaires who pretend to be all cosy and one of us. Its one of the biggest royal supporters there is
so please explain to me how the BBC could be considered a left wing establishment? If the place is falling apart what are they spending our British Broadcasting Corporation enforced tax money (referred to as a TV licence) on? What other TV corporation or any kind of company is allowed by law to force the public to buy their products without a choice? And don't tell me we don't have to have a TV or computer screen in our homes this is 2012 the BBC do not own all technology media. The technology exists to shut off reception of the BBC if we don't want it so there really is no excuse for the archaic law of having to buy a TV licence. By the way Mr White why are you not even embarrassed to admit the BBC got you on to plug your book isn't advertising the thing they reckon they don't do?
Wow, you're the first person I've ever heard complain it's RIGHT wing. No, I'm not embarrassed. If you wrote a book you'd hope people would want to hear about it and read it wouldn't you? And there's a difference between interviewing someone about something they've created and explicitly saying to the viewer "YOU MUST BUY THIS BOOK/SEE THIS FILM". I can't be bothered to start arguing about the license fee arrangements because it's so far off topic, sorry. You can always take it up with this guy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXPjAi4gDTc
So you wouldn't call an institution that presents itself as a supporter of the monarchy and the capitalist economy right wing?
Tell you what, go and tell the many, many Telegraph hacks/Boris Johnson who are constantly moaning about it being too left wing that you think it's too right wing. Maybe between you you'll come to the conclusion it's somewhere in the middle, where it's supposed to be.
You've NEVER heard anyone complaining about the BBC being rightwing?
Yeah, right mate, you writing THIS after 4 hours in the pub?
The bbc is socially liberal, and economically right wing. So it's not in the middle.
Maybe you'll become a little less ignorant after reading this.
Well now, here's the thing. I worked there for quite a while. During that time I met some left wingers, and some right wingers, and some people who were in the middle. Some of them are my friends now. And all of them attempted to maintain balance, according to the guidelines, which it'll shock you to learn don't include "being socially liberal" or "economically right wing" or whatever else you choose to see in their news reports. And sometimes they didn't manage it, taking too much of a left wing view or right wing view on a story. And that would be because they messed up. Nothing more insidious than that. That's my view, based on working there and knowing a lot of the staff. What's yours based on?
I have fond memories of tv centre. The first time I ever went there it was to attend a recording of TOTP in the early 80s. I remember having trodden on a needle the night before I was barely able to do more than hobble around when being encouraged to dance by the professional dancers planted in the audience. Also, the way the operator mounted cameras came hurtling across the studio floor with no mercy shown to those in its way. A few years later I got to tour the site when I worked for the advertising agency that looked after the BBC Corporate Recruitment Accounts. Then, in 2004 I was fortunate enough to write a sitcom that was in development for a while and got to sit in the hallowed offices of BBC Comedy where so many writers and performers had sat before down the years. A quirky old building, yes, but still a landmark and a bit of a national treasure. No doubt it will be replaced by a Tesco Express or a Holiday Inn with a drive though McDonalds built in below, but my memories are one thing the developers can't demolish!
Ditto what Winkley said - if you're going to be misty-eyed, at least wipe them occasionally to ensure you get your (very basic) facts straight.
After 1991 it was broadcast from TVC. Which I seem to recall in the intro they still described as 'In Shepherd's Bush', but I might be mistaken, what with it being over 20 years ago. Sorry I couldn't be more accurate.
What a load of rubbish. In BBC parlance, Shepherd's Bush refers to the Empire theatre - and that's the place where Wogan was filmed. BBC TV Centre and Shepherd's Bush are not the same thing.