Ask Marina

Dear Marina,

I was taking a run on the treadmill while watching the morning news when, low and behold, a six-foot, anatomically correct chocolate Jesus appeared on the screen. Now, with Easter weekend approaching, I expect to digest my fair share of chocolate bunnies and cream eggs, but I don't know about the thought of a chocolate messiah! Then I heard that chocolate Jesus was the star of the “My ... read more

Dear Marina

If one more person calls me to report a pothole, pledge a donation or join something called “the revolution” I’m throwing my phone out the window.

I keep telling them I’ve never heard of you and to f**k off. It was my son who spotted the same name on some leaflet people keep shoving through my door. What’s going on?

Disengaged, East Saltdean, near Brighton

Thank you for ... read more

Dear Marina

wha g’wan? DC here. Check it. You’re just the kind of bird I want in my party. You’re not old. You don’t wear twinsets and pearls but you do remind older colleagues of a young feisty Maggie. Let’s face it you’re wasted on old man Ming’s posse! Come on be a Green Con like me! Cross the floor and sex us up, you gorgeous filly.

Yours with ... read more

Dear Marina

I’m married to my sister and we have five lovely but slightly odd looking children. Should we pursue our right to love in the courts or simply move to the Appalachians?

Herr X

Move to England. Our prisons are far too overcrowded so there’s no risk of jail here. You would also be a welcome distraction for Daily Mail hacks who are driving everyone nuts with their climate ... read more

Dear Marina

Inspired by your letters last week I’ve decided to lead my party from the front. And told them! Is it working?

MC, North East Fife

Leading your party from the front, old boy, is tantamount to herding a flock of cats. Please remind yourself that when they cling onto your face apparently for dear life, it’s more out of fear for the surrounding blue waters than any desire ... read more

Dear Marina

The ancient landscape of the Hill of Tara is set to have a motorway built through it. Once home to the Kings of Ireland and the setting for many of our Celtic myths and stories, I am horrified that a bunch of men, who will make loads of money out of it, could do this. What can we do to stop them?Brendan D, Dublin

The ancient Hill ... read more

Dear Marina

I hear I am supposed to be green or blue or some colour. I hear that I need to turn off lots of lights. I am very set in my ways and enjoy the light to see the food I am eating, the document I am reading and the things I am doing. When going to bed I bump into the bed or the wall if there is ... read more

Dear Marina

I've been accused of something one may or may not have got up to at Eton but I'm blowed if I’m going to engage in a debate on the rights and wrongs of nipping off for a quick toke on a schoolmate's ganja!

If I got an eighth of the coverage for my obvious green credentials I wouldn’t be feeling so blue. I’m convinced a Liberal gal like ... read more

Dear Marina

You saucy wee lassie. What would make YOUR Valentine’s dream come true?

Love GB, Westminster

I’ve learned not to expect much. But small gestures, if heartfelt, can mean a lot. For instance, I would love to receive, as a token of affection, a hand-made card (crafted from an old porridge box and some re-used tartan florists ribbon). Inside it reads: "Roses are redViolets are blue ... read more

Dear Marina

Did you switch off your lights and gadgets for five minutes last night? If so, how was it for you?Switched on, Paris

I most certainly did. My kids loved it. Gathered round plant wax candles (scented with Juniper, a grave yard herb, fitting somehow) we told shaggy dog stories and discussed the tragedy of our less enlightened neighbours.

Through the orange glow of the street lamps, ... read more

Dear MarinaOn a recent trip to the sub-continent I praised Gandhi for being a peace-loving man but I'm worried it might have looked a tad hypocritical because of my support for the Iraq war. Do you think it is possible to be peace-loving and war-appreciating at the same time? GB. PS Do you think I’m sexy?

This from the great man himself:What difference does it make ... read more

Dear Marina

I’m a seasoned travel writer working for a well known broadsheet. Increasingly it is obvious that the world is warming up. I see it wherever I go – the melting glaciers and permafrost, disappearing islands and un-seasonal activities of flora and fauna all tell me that Climate Change is happening all around the globe.

I can hardly drag myself to the airport these days knowing I’m part of ... read more