Ask Marina
You're not bringing that in here...
Posted by Marina Pepper - 29 August 2007 12:36
A table cloth triggers a police crackdown at Climate Camp
Dear Marina,
It was lovely to meet you at Climate Camp last week. My Harold was quite taken with you. And you make such a wonderful pot of tea. Thank you for taking the time to help us and listen to our concerns. When we’re moved out of our home we will take with us a lifetime of memories including time spent with people like you at Climate Camp. I ...
Dig for victory Harry...
Posted by Marina Pepper - 20 July 2007 17:47
Wise words for a royal - and advice for a rainy day
Dear Marina,
Thanks to the effects of global warming we are all having a terrible wet and unsummery summer. Is it worth planning summer holidays in November time now and, if so, where would make a good destination?Clare, Portsmouth
I am on record as taking umbrage with those who would say climate change is great if it means it’s getting warmer.
Not that many are saying that right now. ...
Royals and dope smoking etiquette
Posted by Marina Pepper - 13 July 2007 15:25
Advice on meeting the queen, meeting foreigners and meeting your past...
Dear Marina
I am a young Arab male who has recently moved here from Iran to study, and I cannot tell if the UK is progressive and open-minded due to all the talk on multiculturalism, or if they are prejudiced and nationalistic and afraid of change. Does Britain welcome me earnestly or begrudgingly?
Omid, London
At a guess I’d say you are not at all welcome. However hard you ...
Where the evangelical must stay
Posted by Marina Pepper - 06 July 2007 15:16
Advice for a Christian visiting gay-friendly Brighton plus the woman who wonders if she is a witch
Dear Marina,
I will shortly be visiting the gay capital of the UK, Brighton. On looking for a place to stay for a few nights I noticed a couple of websites had a small note 'Gay friendly'. Now I'm not a homophobe but I am an evangelical Christian and don't want to put myself in any danger, if you know what I mean. Should I avoid sleeping at such places? ...
Tools down it's festival time
Posted by Marina Pepper - 14 June 2007 16:51
Brighton werewolves, saying the N-word and rusty nails through your nose
Dear MarinaAs a born, bred and proud resident of Portslade, I have always treated you B-right-on people with suspicion. So it came as no surprise when I heard that Brighton police are putting more officers on the beat at a full moon. Is it because everyone there is a werewolf or something more sinister?
Worried, Sussex
More sinister, definitely. It’s a knee jerk response to people engaging with the ...
Slightly sexist?
Posted by Marina Pepper - 01 June 2007 16:02
Hazel Blears's height, the Zimmers and Tinky Winky's sexual orientation
Dear Marina,I was watching the deputy hustings on Newsnight the other day and thought that Cruddas was gorgeous. But why was Hazel Blears sitting on a chair all the way through. Do you know why? Confused of the North East At 4ft 10 inches Ms Blears punches well above her height in the Labour party. But she obviously lacks influence at the BBC where the Newsnight director could easily have arranged ...
A hodgepodge approach to housing
Posted by Marina Pepper - 25 May 2007 17:40
Some unfortunate words about immigrants, the government's peculiar approach to green energy and the cost of a modern marriage...
Dear Marina,
I am very upset. I have always been a loyal socialist albeit in a slightly patrician and up myself kind of a way. I recently said British families should be given housing priorities over immigrants and now that ghastly Alan Johnson has compared my language (aspirational Islingtonian) with the BNP's (inarticulate and trashy). What does the dreadful little postie think he's up to? Yours MH,Barking/Islington...
Who pissed on the parade?
Posted by Marina Pepper - 18 May 2007 17:12
Non-stop rain, an imprisoned cow and a Cameron that's actually in power
Dear Auntie Marina,
Ever since the Tories won the local election, it's done nothing butrain. This certainly wasn't mentioned on their election leaflets. Ipreferred your weather. Is this something I can refer to the ElectoralComplaints Commission?
Yours,That bloke up the hill, Whitehawk, Brighton
In October 2006 at the annual Conservative Party Conference David Cameron laid out his fair weather policies. He said: "We can only become ...
Revolution isn't easy
Posted by Marina Pepper - 11 May 2007 17:38
Spanking, mascara and a range of other thorny topics
Dear Marina, Thought I'd ask for your assistance on tackling what I am sure will be a thorny issue over the next few weeks, that is being accused of suffering from a traditional Conservative pastime, I am led to believe, of taking a spanking. I am assured that all the best schools still appreciate this form of 'social education', never did me any harm and all that, but ...
Green Queen v Greene King
Posted by Marina Pepper - 28 April 2007 09:01
Marina takes on a brewery and drinks them into defeat plus advice on keeping the Wolfowitz from the door
Dear Marina,
I, like you, hold leadership aspirations. I am a much better future prime than that young Blairite from Eton. How can I maximise the promotion of my world class fiscal credentials on the back of this Wolfowitz saga?
GB, London
Gordie, if you with your fiscal fingers or that spliffing toff from the Dark Side are serious about leadership, gently close the door on the World Bank ...
Nobody leaves Ming in the corner
Posted by Marina Pepper - 20 April 2007 17:29
Dancing lessons, life meaning life and the chances of being ethical and working in the media
Dear Marina, I am having difficulty understanding the difference between a two-step and a fox-trot, I am not sure I have the confidence for jive and this modern break-dancing looks simply too dangerous. All I know is I like to lead from the front. Can you please help. Best regards, Wurzel Fortesque-Smythe, 3rd Earl of Little Snodgrass.PS: My Roller is at your ...
Marina's Labour lover revealed
Posted by Marina Pepper - 13 April 2007 16:54
Loving across the political spectrum, polar bears and selling stories to the Sun
Dear Marina,
I don't consider myself a huge animal lover. I do have a cat, but I also have a fur coat, and find it enormously irritating when those PETA people shoot me dirty looks when I wear it. But last week I came across hundreds of pictures of Knut, the adorable four-month-old polar bear, rejected by his mother and raised by a Berlin zoo keeper. After ogling over him, ...
Chocolate Jesus, Kamikazes and pants to my opponent
Posted by Marina Pepper - 05 April 2007 09:42
My sweet lord, the depths we can sink to when at war and a spot of good old fashioned politics...
Dear Marina,
I was taking a run on the treadmill while watching the morning news when, low and behold, a six-foot, anatomically correct chocolate Jesus appeared on the screen. Now, with Easter weekend approaching, I expect to digest my fair share of chocolate bunnies and cream eggs, but I don't know about the thought of a chocolate messiah! Then I heard that chocolate Jesus was the star of the “My ...
Dirty tricks, no nicks and standards
Posted by Marina Pepper - 30 March 2007 16:58
Marina on an electoral roll and thinking back to those Playboy days
Dear Marina
If one more person calls me to report a pothole, pledge a donation or join something called “the revolution” I’m throwing my phone out the window.
I keep telling them I’ve never heard of you and to f**k off. It was my son who spotted the same name on some leaflet people keep shoving through my door. What’s going on?
Disengaged, East Saltdean, near Brighton
Thank you for ...
Stop it Dave. No, really, stop it. Stop!
Posted by Marina Pepper - 23 March 2007 16:04
A final word for a chap called Dave. Plus some reassuring news for the people of a certain ward in the Brighton area
Dear Marina
wha g’wan? DC here. Check it. You’re just the kind of bird I want in my party. You’re not old. You don’t wear twinsets and pearls but you do remind older colleagues of a young feisty Maggie. Let’s face it you’re wasted on old man Ming’s posse! Come on be a Green Con like me! Cross the floor and sex us up, you gorgeous filly.
Yours with ...
