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Taking aim at Sarah

Published 08 September 2008

It’s been a tough time for wise-cracking American talk-show hosts of late. Letterman, Leno and Stewart have found Obama just a little too perfect to make the butt of their jokes and their lines about McCain’s age were getting a little, well, old. But then along came Sarah, the answer to their prayers. They’ve been taking aim at her lack of experience, her image and of course her gun-love. "Another vice president who's a hunter” remarked Jay Leno. "What could go wrong there?"

With rumours of Sarah Palin having an affair appearing in the National Enquirer (who turned out to be right about John Edwards's indiscretions after all), it looks like Sarah will keep setting them up and the comics knocking them down until election day.

Coping with a leak

Now to hissy fit news. In a move that will only affect those who know the names of the Jonas Brothers, author Stephenie Meyer is threatening not to finish the final part of her Twilight book series (a sort of teenage romance with vampires) after an early draft was leaked online. "I feel too sad about what has happened to continue working on Midnight Sun, and so it is on hold indefinitely”, sobbed Meyer. “This has been a very upsetting experience for me, but I hope it will at least leave my fans with a better understanding of copyright and the importance of artistic control." We can but hope, Stephenie.

Elsewhere, Metallica are coping rather better with internet leaks after their new album, Death Magnetic, appeared online this week, ahead of its official release on 12th September. "If this thing leaks all over the world today or tomorrow, happy days", said Lars Ulrich. "It's 2008 and it's part of how it is these days." Whether their management will be quite as philosophical is questionable. Earlier this summer a playback of Death Magnetic was organised for a variety of music magazines. Thequietus.com turned up and wrote a fond review, only to face irate phone calls from the band's management demanding it be taken offline. At which point Metallica themselves got involved, and expressed surprise at their management’s decision: "WHY?!!! Why take down mostly positive reviews of the new material and prevent people from getting psyched about the next record. . . that makes no sense to us!"

No joy for lesbian horses

Finally, the wait is over. The Diagram of Diagrams has been announced. The Diagram Prize is the prize for the oddest book title, now celebrating its 30th birthday with a competition for the best of the worst. Despite tough competition from How To Avoid Huge Ships and People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead, the public has chosen a winner: Greek Rural Postmen and Their Cancellation Numbers. Commiserations to the Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories.

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6 comments from readers

Camus
09 September 2008 at 11:12

What on earth are you writing about? Most of this column is gibberish. Possibly meant to while away a few minutes but it is a complete waste of time. I'm only writing this to express my surprise that you publish a Sun-like piece of jabberwocky.

Douglas Chalmers
09 September 2008 at 11:56

Talk about "hissy fits" and "Lesbian Horse Stories", There was some woman writing here about her (sexual) "love affairs with pets" a few months back, duh. "A goat's eyes are so beautiful...", yuk! http://www.newstatesman.com/200405170021

So "Bestiality happens..." but what IS the matter with the New States(wo)man these days...??? Or have we supposedly "progressed" from plain old B+D and S+M?

antileft
09 September 2008 at 16:25

Yes, I agree with the last posts. NS has managed to go where I thought it could go no further: Downhill. Surely, it can only go up from here. Cant it??

jeffknowler
09 September 2008 at 22:05

In order "arts" news: Peter and Jordan have a BBQ. Britney gets lashed. Etc etc etc.

GraemeAllister
10 September 2008 at 16:44

While it's a thrill to be charged with the wholesale destruction of the New Statesman's heritage, it is just intended as a bit of fun, a round-up of some of the arts events of the week. I assure you the NS continues (despite my best efforts) to provide excellent news and analysis, much of which doesn't feature lesbian horses.

Malton
15 September 2008 at 21:33

Thank you for deleting my comment, which was gratuitously inoffensive. May I rephrase it? I would like to support Graeme Allister's forlorn attempt to introduce a note of humour to these pages. Boring enough for you?