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9 July 2012updated 17 Jan 2024 6:10am

Fifty Shades of Cake

The sponge-and-marzipan manifestation of a publishing sensation.

By Caroline Crampton

This is a guest post from the NS’s web editor, Caroline Crampton.

As we enter the art gallery that is his apartment, I spot the box from the bakery lying on the counter, bearing the insignia of “Richard’s Cakes” from Manchester, England. Part of me wonders who ever could have sent us such a thing, but a larger part of me just wants to grab a spoon. Although he did make me eat two desserts at the restaurant.

Instinctively, I reach for the box. Suddenly, I feel his hand close round my wrist, restraining me in a deliciously vice-like grip.

Stopped in my tracks, I hiss at him: “You are quite the disciplinarian.”

“Oh, Anastasia, you have no idea.”

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“But Christian, I don’t understand why I’m not allowed to eat the cake.”

He cocks his head to one side, grinning at me. “Anastasia, you know I have my rules. You may only eat when and what I say you may. And I say you may not eat this cake.”

I can feel myself flush. I almost bite my lip, but at the last minute remember what happens when I do that. My inner goddess is prancing around inside my head, daring me to defy him, while my subconscious has lost all sense of herself – any second now she’s just going to bellow “ME WANT FROSTING” and be done with it.

He quirks his eyebrow at me. His gaze is dark obsidian.

“Well?”

I look at the unopened lid of the box, and then back at him. I cock my head to the side.

“But the nice people from Manchester sent this cake all the way here,” I plead. “It seems like a waste not to have a slice.”

“Trust me, I can afford it. I’ll reimburse them for the shipping.”

I drag my eyes up to his. As his gray eyes, burning with unfathomable emotion, hold mine, my mouth goes dry and I feel myself blush.

My hands reach for the lid of the box and slowly reveal what it contains. My lips quirk into a smile.

Holy shit.

My Fifty.

Fifty shades of cake, that is.

Photograph courtesy of Richard’s Cakes in Manchester. Their manager, Emma Ball, is the creator of this amazing confection.

 

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Select and enter your email address Your weekly guide to the best writing on ideas, politics, books and culture every Saturday. The best way to sign up for The Saturday Read is via saturdayread.substack.com The New Statesman's quick and essential guide to the news and politics of the day. The best way to sign up for Morning Call is via morningcall.substack.com Our Thursday ideas newsletter, delving into philosophy, criticism, and intellectual history. The best way to sign up for The Salvo is via thesalvo.substack.com Stay up to date with NS events, subscription offers & updates. Weekly analysis of the shift to a new economy from the New Statesman's Spotlight on Policy team. The best way to sign up for The Green Transition is via spotlightonpolicy.substack.com
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