Books 22 July 2013 How the NS celebrated the last royal birth: "A thankful nation's overjoyed / To have three million unemployed" A poem by Roger Woddis. Print HTML Demijohn To commemorate the birth of the Royal baby, the Daily Telegraph published “A Nativity Ode, with apologies to the Poet Laureate”. Once all our vigil fears were gone, They rushed to bend the knee, Sir John, And we must thank the Telegraph For giving Britain such a laugh. You would have blushed with shame, or worse, If you had penned such ghastly verse, But something makes this crap unique – It wasn’t written tongue-in-cheek. “From her there shines a son.” (I quote). You’d shudder if you ever wrote Appalling lines like these, Sir John. “The moon did run” – I can’t go on. Only a dried-up soul and sour Would fail to celebrate the hour When any woman’s time is due And both of them come safely through; But if one lifts a flowering glass, (Whatever else the State affords, It’s not the Marsden’s cancer wards.) Come, let us look to our defences And go for panem et circenses: A thankful nation’s overjoyed To have three million unemployed. 25 June 1982 › The Home Office continues scaring the shit out of immigrants From only £1 per week Subscribe More Related articles How “cli-fi” novels humanise the science of climate change Video games will shape how we understand the world What is "narrow banking" - and could it put finance right?