Alex Hern

Dispatches from the front line of the internet

RSS

Fortnum and Mason launches "privilege spread"

"Its plummy overtones and peerless, classless claret is attractive to aristocrats and artisans alike."

By Alex Hern Published 30 October 2012 14:04

The Windsors examine some chocolate at Fortnum and Mason. Photograph: Getty Images

WHAT IS THIS. I DON'T EVEN. WHAT.

“Privilege Spread sounds like something Fortnum & Mason might patent” came the cries following David Cameron’s Speech at the Conservative Party Conference earlier this month. Fortnum & Mason has taken up the challenge with panache, by creating the delicious Plum & Claret Privilege Spread. Its plummy overtones and peerless, classless claret is attractive to aristocrats and artisans alike.

This limited edition – for One Nation only – will be launched on, Monday 5th November.

The jar features the specially-created Charles Peattie and Russell Taylor’s inimitable Alex cartoon, to bring a smile to the breakfast and the tea table.

Georgina Haszlakiewicz at Fortnum & Mason comments, “I am confident that this delicious coalition of plums and claret (from the Right AND the Left Bank) will bring in resounding endorsement from our customers. For over 300 years, Fortnum’s has been spreading peace and goodwill throughout the world with our prime recipes.”

Exhaustive polling has proved that the spread goes well on daily bread, hot buttered toast or crumpets, it is best ladled generously, and – at a meritorious £3.75 a jar – an affordable treat for all.

More from Alex Hern

View the discussion thread.

6 comments

Wed, 2012-10-31 20:23 — McMac

The taste of privilege, fantastic.

Wed, 2012-10-31 15:57 — Posh Tosh (not verified)

I had the best spread last night, better not tell my lady-friend.

Ha when I married green as could be, indeed hardly a not virgin, now at 66 doing a little better.

It does not happen too often, but rather good home-made jam, or once in the while another taste for the taste-buds, but when I see whom is buying the special preserve, or should it be reserve.

Seems that Prince Charles jam -labels are not doing too well, or is he re-marketing under another name. I will have to speak to my plants and find out, as hey I was a vegetable trying to keep flies off my jam whilst bringing up a child for a wife that did not want him until a divorce when indeed he ran riot and punched her lights out. Mind you I do have many scars from her burnt coppage pies.

Wed, 2012-10-31 16:09 — Posh Tosh (not verified)

"By creating the delicious Plum & Claret Privilege Spread"

I do not care for Eton plums, neither do I want the foot odour of ten thousand foreign workers in each jar, now if they had called it Traveller's Jam, a touch of Shamrock, maybe different.

Taste's of an hint of Golden Valley plums, an hint of recycled car tyre wellies and the slight iron taste of shovels... would have been a winner.

Mind you I can get the same sort of product from my local Cheshire supplier when I call in to get my bread from my local bakery, and even the eggs I can get from there do not wash their blue rinse away like another 'Royal' brand' it is North of Watford and the Whale signpost, that makes him feel anything above Watford is foreign.

Wed, 2012-10-31 09:37 — Dimwit (not verified)

Really? This is your beef? When F&M offers sooooo many more targets, such as £13 jars of woodland strawberry jam...

(I would link to this, but I'm not allowed. buit check it out, it's on the website.)

Tue, 2012-10-30 22:41 — gsilver (not verified)

no doubt you can find marmite on their shelves as well. get over the inverted class snobbery ... you make us look like a something out of a socialist students drunken rant = embarrassing and with very little logic.