The internet provides: Vanilla Ice exhorts you to "bling it on" with his new range of chandeliers

Cross-promotion graveyard.

Whelp, via @endlessmike, informs me that Vanilla Ice is launching a chandelier line. It is everything you could hope for. From a chandelier line. Endorsed by ageing 90s rapper Vanilla Ice.

The promotional copy confirms that:

The transitional design and unique silk shades with crystal detail make this fixture truly an original, just like Vanilla Ice… Bling it on!

If that piques your interest, why not watch this video, titled "Vanilla Ice Lights It Up at the Ft. Lauderdale Boat Show", in which the writer of Ice, Ice, Baby and his thousand-yard stare discuss the merits of iced bronze on light fixtures:

Ice himself (is that his surname? "Ice"? Apparently his real name is Rob Van Winkle, but that just feels weird) tweeted a picture of himself with a cardboard cut-out of himself and a selection of his lights:



There are actually 21 different videos of Vanilla Ice doing various things with Capitol Lighting. Now, I haven't had time to watch them all, but judging by titles like "Vanilla Ice Is Inspired By Excellent Lighting", "Vanilla Ice Loves Dimmers" and "Vanilla Ice Explains The Versatility Of Mini Pendants", anyone who does is in for a treat.

Pack up the internet for the day, everyone. It's time to go home and think about what we've learned.

Alex Hern is a technology reporter for the Guardian. He was formerly staff writer at the New Statesman. You should follow Alex on Twitter.