1. Jubilee . . . pizza!

"Give your pizza the royal treatment," says Pizza Hut. And after all, what better way to celebrate the monarchy than with mini cheeseburgers in the crusts of your pizza. Delicious AND nutritious*. (*not nutritious).

2. Jubilee . . . Oyster card!

Have you lost your Royal Wedding commemorative Oyster card? Transport for London are here for you.

3. Jubilee . . . Corgi!

This Corgi statue from Selfridges is "the must-have accessory for a truly royal celebration this Diamond Jubilee". It's also a bargain at £1,953.

4. Jubilee . . . solar-powered Queen!

Well this is innovative. A solar panel in the Queen's handbag powers her up to wave her hand from side to side. Why, you ask? SHUT UP.

5. Jubilee . . . pants!

Nothing says "let's get it on" like a picture of the Queen on your nether regions. Obviously, America agrees as they have produced these sexy pants.

6. Jubilee . . . bread!

Kingsmill bread has rebranded for the Jubilee season. I don't know about you but I like my carbs patriotic.

7. Jubilee . . Marmite!

You can spread your Jubilee toast with some Jubilee Marmite for a delicious commemorative breakfast. Play the national anthem (or No. 10 on this list) on loop for an added dimension.

8. Jubilee . . . chutney!

Something about Jubilee Ma'amite is just so . . . pedestrian. The more discerning customer might go for this, the "world's most expensive jar of chutney", encrusted with Swarovski crystals. It costs £1000 and took 40 hours to create. An excellent investment all round.

9. Jubilee . . . pinata!

Marks and Spencer know how to have a party.

10. Jubilee . . . song!

Gary Barlow and Andrew Lloyd Webber teamed up for what is set to be a modern classic.