The NS Competition No 4115

Words uttered at the moment of birth by famous figures.

This week's winners

Well done. I was sorry to lose "Free at last!" from Nelson Mandela, but I've seen that joke before. And by the time I'd read the umpteenth "You're fired!" from Suralan, I no longer thought it was a winner. This week, Bill, Ian and Nick can have £20 each, Sara and Dave £15 each, and the singletons £5 book tokens. The Tesco vouchers go to, yes, Bill . . .

Andrew Marr: Marr!
Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards: That was a long, slippery slope.
Tony Blair: Dilation, dilation, dilation.
David Cameron: I couldn't have gone on like that.
Jeremy Clarkson: Step on the gas and air.
Bill Greenwell

Hazel Blears: Can I claim the maternity ward as a second home?
George Osborne: Cut the cord! I said cut, cut, cut.
Tracey Emin: This bed's in a disgraceful condition.
Ian Birchall

Alex Ferguson: That was diabolical. They should have added at least another six minutes before she started pushing. Just diabolical.
Ellen MacArthur: That was really tough. I'm exhausted. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm worn out. I'm depressed. I don't think I can take any more.
David Silverman

Geoffrey Boycott: I didn't think much of that delivery.
Nick Clegg: I've been squeezed out.
Bill Clinton: You want me to inhale?
Nicholas Hodgson

Hunter Davies: Where's the telly?
Heston Blumenthal: Fresh placenta! Yum yum!
Sara Spain

John Terry: You doing anything tonight, nurse?
Michael Cregan

Kirstie Allsopp: More living space!
M E Ault

Tony Blair: I'm sure there were some weapons of mass destruction in there.
Katie Mallett

Keith Richards: Isn't someone gonna give me a little smack?
Basil Ransome-Davies


The next challenge
No 4118 Set by Brendan O'Byrne

We want more submissions for the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM).
Max ten entries by 11 March

This article first appeared in the 01 March 2010 issue of the New Statesman, The Dave Ultimatum