Set by Brendan O'Byrne

We asked for submissions to the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM).

This week's winners

Well done. Those with three and four "submissions" get £20 each, and those with two get £15. The Tesco vouchers go, in addition, to John Griffiths-Colby for making me laugh out loud (buysolar, indeed!). PS: We haven't forgotten the Top 20 winners' listing for 2009, which will appear in truncated form the week after next . . .

Lucrephilia neurosis: the belief that the value of everything can be expressed in monetary terms. Symptoms include the insistence on exorbitant bonuses.
Recessional gardening syndrome: a delusional disorder in which the sufferers believe they have discovered a green shoot of recovery. Symptoms include irrational expressions of optimism.
Cognitive email obsession: symptoms include bouts of hysteria when faced with the notice "No new messages" and the belief that an informal email can disprove decades of scientific evidence.
M E Ault

Hyperbolic expectation syndrome: the holding and continual expression against all reason of the view that England will win the World Cup.
Post-traumatic dress disorder: anxiety triggered upon seeing photos of yourself from the 1970s.
Discalculian exhibitionism: the irresistible urge to bandy about incomprehensible numbers as a substitute for political argument.
Bipochondriasis: thinking you've got bipolar disorder because Stephen Fry has it.
Adrian Fry

Myoldcardie infarction: perception of social death through inability to keep up with latest trends, fashion, gadgets etc.
Buysolar disorder: manic belief system, typified by evangelistic episodes when subjects are convinced they will reside in their house long enough to reap a financial return on alternative energy sources.
Passive digressive: adoptive behaviour of professional service providers as a defence mechanism in time of economic downturn, with the aim of
upping billable hours.
John Griffiths-Colby

Demensa: fear of having one's IQ rejected.
Oppositional personality disorder: regularly changing one's appearance with a view to looking different.
Culinaria nervosa: retching caused by exposure to celebrity TV chefs.
Compers mentis: compulsive addiction to literary competitions.
John O'Byrne

Politico miasmus (or hung parliament disorder): affliction of political commentators short of copy.
Repressive-impulsive disorder (RID): compulsion to vote Conservative for no reason other than never having done so before.
Bill Greenwell