No.411

Set by J Seery

The BBC has announced that it may allow Thought for the Day to be delivered by someone outside the usual faith groups. We asked for just such an example.

This week's winners
Well done, with £25 each going to the three winners, and the Tesco vouchers, in addition, to Robert Leach . . .

Thought from a millenarianist
This is our first and last Thought for the Day, as our calculations conclusively demonstrate the world is to end in two minutes. So those who have been rather naughty had better start repenting fast before we get to the wailing and gnashing of teeth bit. They say it's never too late, but it will be soon. Ah! The producer chappie is making frantic winding-up gestures to indicate I am out of time. So are we all. A pity, as I had been especially looking forward to Andrew Marr after the news.
Robert Leach

Thought from a Delian
Today, 18 June, is when Delians celebrate the first vision of Our Divine Lady of the Profiteroles. On Deliawali, what you do is: you bake a sponge cake, like this. Or you can do it like . . . this. Then, what I like to do is: smile very sweetly, all the way to the bank. I like to go to NatWest, but you can go to any bank where they'll take delicious pans of money. Delians don't proselytise, but there are many secret believers. In the beginning, there were only 11 viewers, or Deliasciples. We remember Our Lady's inspiring words: "We need a 12th man out there. Where are you? Let's be having you! Come on!" Great is Delia of the Filo.

David Silverman

Thought from an Elvisian
I was walking down the street the other day, and heard a woman say: "Doesn't he look like Elvis!" I'm used to that. We Elvisians try to be as like the King as possible. Then I realised she wasn't referring to me, but a little bald fellow. I wasn't pleased - but it set me thinking. Perhaps, in different ways, we are all like Elvis - quiff or no quiff, sideboards or none, not only we lookalikes. And though this chap bore no external resemblance, the woman was surely recognising the inner Elvis who inhabits us all. It's not just a matter of combs. There's something Elvisian within us all, just as there's something supernal in the transcendent anagram: Elvis Lives!
Gerard Benson

The next challenge

No 4114

Set by Leonora Casement
An oldie. Pets are supposed to grow like their owners. We want descriptions of the imaginary pets of famous people of today.
Max 120 words by 11 February