Recreation: dominoes

No 40878
Set by Leonora Casement
We asked you for Who's Who entries for imaginary people who ought to be in the book but whom you would never wish to meet

Report by Ms de Meaner
Well done. There were so many of "the most boring person ever" entries that I had to reject most of them, in the interests of the page as a whole. I was particularly sad to lose G M Davis's Sir Ronald Brian Truscott. After wading through his interminably unmemorable life ("Brewery Road Comprehensive Sch, Dudley Gravelly Hill Technical Coll"), I arrived at "Recreations: Grand Theft Auto." Superb! An hon mensh for you. The three winners can have £20 each, with the Tesco vouchers going in addition to Alanna Blake.

FLITMOUSE, Esmeralda Macadam, OBE 2003; Hon Sec, Council
for the Preservation of City Thoroughfares, since 1999; b 31 Dec 1949, d of Sir Fletcher Flitmouse, MC and Felicity Flitmouse (née Lyon). Educ: Open Univ. BA Social History 1976, Mumbai Univ, PhD (Correlation of Roadmetals and Potholes), 1994. Shorthand typist for various agencies, 1967-84; Assistant Sec at Transport Library, 1984-88; TEFL Mumbai, 1990-94; Assistant Sec, Council for the Preservation of City Thoroughfares, 1994-99. Publications: Save Our Side Streets, Pavement Watch, Road Crossings, White Lines (poems), Yellow Lines (poems). Recreations: campaigning for municipal transport causes, photographing street signs, raffia work, attending poetry readings, learning to play the Northumbrian pipes, guiding tourists on city walks.
Alanna Blake

KHALID, Sir Abdul: b 10 Aug 1942; s Sir Ibrahim Khalid and Millicent, Lady Dawes; m 1st, 1969, Fatima; m 2nd, 1970, Aamina; m 3rd, 1971, Shada; m 4th, 1972, Mariam; twelve s, ten d. Saudi billionaire; head, Khalid Construction. Educ: Gordonstoun; Trinity Coll, Cambridge. Promoter, Islamic architecture. Built and endowed mosques across the world. Quarrelled with friend Prince Charles when added thousands of decorative electric light bulbs to exterior of every dome and minaret. Supports modest Muslim dress and quiet domestic life for women. With s owns stud and string of racehorses. London nightspot frequenter; 2009 winner of I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here; soon to become TV game show host. Wishes to be known in future as "Kalley". Recreations: polo, poker, poolside lounging.
Anne Du Croz

WILKINS, Kevin; b Birchington, Kent, 22 Nov 1963; s of Joseph Wilkins and Mabel Wilkinson (née Murdoch). Author and publicist; Pres, Society for Research into Unexplained Phenomena. Educ: Birchington Primary Sch, Margate Grammar Sch. Librarian, Canterbury Public Library,
1980-89; freelance author, 1991-. Publications: What They Want You to Believe, 1989; The Bermuda Triangle: Myth or Reality?, 1991; The Assassination of Elvis Presley, 1992; Diana - They All Got It Wrong!, 1998; The Plot Behind the Millennium Bug, 2001; 9/11: What Really Happened, 2002; Hitler's Secret Mission, 2004; Tracking Lord Lucan: the Final Solution, 2007; The Jackson Code (in prep). Recreations: Computer golf, entomology.
Basil Ransome-Davies

No 4091 Women behaving badly
Set by Leonora Casement
Take an unreconstructed male novelist of your choice (but not Hemingway, please!) and send in a politically correct version of one of their works.
Max 125 words by 27 August
Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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This England

Each printed entry will receive a £5 book token. Entries on a POSTCARD, please, to This England, NS, address on page 3

Helping Gordon
Each week, Zoo magazine showcases the talents of a jobless female to potential new employers. Holly, 19, has 10 GCSEs, 3 A/S Levels and a BTEC National Diploma in Dance. Damien McSorley, deputy editor of Zoo, said: "It's completely non-discriminatory - by removing her clothes we've removed the preconceptions. “We've all got to do our bit to help Mr Gordon Brown beat the recession."
Milton Keynes Citizen (Peter Barnes)

Carry the wife
I abandoned daily newspapers long ago, on the grounds that if their coverage of other subjects is as inaccurate as their religious coverage I would be better informed with a copy of the Beano. But I am wondering if I ought to change my mind, thanks to some information gleaned from other people's papers. This makes me want to go and live in Somerset immediately: "Baltonsborough Village Festival. Events include a bog-snorkelling competition, and a wife-carrying race." The best part? "You don't have to carry your own wife."
Church Times (Frank McManus)