All hail Lord's. The second Test has begun after the greatest draw ever won. Can you win a draw? Doubtful. But if you could, England definitely did, much to the chagrin of the Aussies. Apparently we wasted time. Admittedly, it didn't look great. The portly physio Steve McCaig seemed completely bemused when he was sent on to the wicket as a delaying tactic in Cardiff and the 12th man could barely stay away.
When it was all over, the England captain, Andrew Strauss, said there was "a lot of confusion", which essentially means they were all giggling in the changing room as they came up with ever more absurd ruses to enrage Ricky Ponting et al. But has Ponting never wasted time? Forget cricket; it's impossible to believe he hasn't spent an afternoon watching repeats of Home and Away when he should have been washing the car. We all do it. Wasting time is the lifeblood of anyone who works in an office. Twitter and YouTube were invented purely to waste people's time.
In fact, if you think about it, what was the recent series of government U-turns (think Royal Mail and ID cards), if not a colossal case of time-wasting? Once you start looking for it, you can see time-wasting everywhere. So let's not condemn it - done well and shamelessly, it's almost an art form. Get to it, Captain Strauss, but let's spice it up this time: how about a troupe of burlesque dancers cavorting across the wicket?
