A question of balance
No 4075
Set by Joy Hosker
After the BBC’s rejection of Caryl Churchill’s latest play about Gaza on grounds of “balance”, and the difficulty
of running a similar play that countered the views put across in “Seven Jewish Children”, we asked for similar rejections from the BBC of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, “Peter Pan”, “The Importance of Being Earnest”, “Charley’s Aunt”, or any well-known, and quite possibly offensive play, that might offend some particular group
Report by Ms de Meaner
Well done. I enjoyed this. A special hon mensh goes to Josh Ekroy whose rejection letter from the Beeb was to Terence Frisby for There’s a Girl in My Soup: “Let me say right away that there is not one smidgen of truth in press reports, which you may have seen, that we have ‘caved in to pressure from Knorr and the Mushroom Marketing Board’.”
The winners get £20 each, the best of whom (G M Davis) also gets the Tesco vouchers.
PS: Could the person who sent in the first This England below send in their name and address in order to receive their book token.
Dear Mr Shakespeare (again!)
You are nothing if not persistent and to be honest this was very nearly 35th time lucky. You’ve finally managed to steer clear of the racism and obscenity (well, almost), gratuitous violence, teenage sex, etc. So – a mysterious benevolent eccentric with superhuman powers and his companion, some wholesome love interest, a bit of time travel, a scary monster – all good Saturday night stuff. However, you’ll offend all the purists, bless them, unless you can replace the Timelord’s staff with a sonic screwdriver, have his Tardis waiting and throw in a few Daleks (maybe between “How many goodly creatures are there here!” and “Oh brave new world, that has such people – innit?”)
David Silverman
Dear Mr Beckett
Thank you for submitting the audio tapes, which have been considered by our compliance committee. They fall somewhat short of audiences’ legitimate expectations in that the content clearly represents an intrusion into the private life of Mr Krapp. Much of the material is unacceptable, being malicious and profane. Were we to broadcast the 25 spools, it would constitute a breach of trust by the corporation and cause deep offence to our licence fee payers. We appreciate that it’s a “typically nihilistic work revolving around the hopeless rewinds of our miserable existence”, but our decision stands.
John O’Byrne
Dear Mr Williams
The corporation is aware that A Streetcar Named Desire has been accorded the status of modern classic, but nonetheless feels that there is significant potential for offence in its tendentious treatment of the character of Blanche DuBois. It is made to seem that sad, ageing nymphomaniacs who take to the bottle and seduce delivery boys deserve to be raped by a brother-in-law and dragged off to the lunatic asylum. Such a hostile travesty poses a gratuitous affront to the sad, ageing nymphomaniac community, many of whose members are also loyal members of the BBC audience. Additionally the image presented by the Stanley Kowalski character of a violent, lascivious throwback constitutes an unacceptable stereotype of Polish people.
G M Davis
No 4078 Holidays from hell
Set by Gavin Ross
The Observer travel supplement features a weekly column entitled “My Crap Holiday” in which unfortunate travellers retell their woes. Can we have similar accounts from famous holidaymakers or travellers from fact or fiction. George Osborne and Odysseus are two names that come immediately to mind, but do think of others.
Max 125 words by 28 May
Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk
This England
Ever so ‘umble
A pub landlady Chris Azerkane, 52, from the Hare and Hounds, Framfield, played hostess to the Duchess of Cornwall, who popped into the pub recently to use the loo.
The Duchess was on her way to the village church funeral of a friend, Lady Mary Askew, who owned Bentley near Halland.
Chris was saying goodbye to lunchtime customers when she heard a loud knock at the door.
She said: ‘I was washing up in the scullery in my whites, hung around with tea towels, rushed out and there was the Duchess.
“I told myself I was seeing things, tried to do a bow and a curtsey at the same time. She said she’d just come down from Gloucester. She was so nice, very sweet and humble.”
Sussex Express (Anon)
Fellow petrolheads
To lop 10mph off the speed limit on country lanes, apparently, is tantamount to declaring a fascist dictatorship. “These corporate Nazi New Labour bastards are intent on turning law-abiding citizens into criminals,” began one post on the motorists’ pressure group website, before imploring his fellow petrolheads to vote BNP.
Times (Hugh Hetherington)
