The look of love

Set by Didier d'Argent

Blimey! Such anger! "Why do turds suddenly appear/Every time you're near?" (John Griffiths-Colby). "I just don't know what you've done with my tax" (Basil Ransome-Davies). Hon menshes to Bill Greenwell, John O'Byrne and Phyliss O'Fickell. £25 to the two winners. D A Prince also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Wishin' and hopin' and sulkin' and mopin'

Yearnin' and gurnin' and chewin' your pen -

That won't get you in No 10:

So, if you're lookin' to replace Tony Blair

All you gotta do is

Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'

And soon you'll make it there.

You gotta show 'em

You don't grin just like him,

Or do things he used to do.

So don't spin just like him:

You won't do it

Sulkin' and a-skulkin'

Yearnin' and a-gurnin'

Grinnin' and a-spinnin' . . .

And don't go suckin' up to Yanks,

Just like him.

Don't do things he used to do;

Don't go sendin' in the tanks, just like him:

You won't do it

Sulkin' etc.

Connivin', contrivin'

And plannin' and schemin'

Wranglin' and anglin' and janglin' the keys

Should bring the poor sod to his knees,

So if you're dreaming about No 10

Yeah you've gotta do it

Dissin', dismissin', and stirrin' and schemin';

Wranglin' . . . and after you do

You'll be wishin' you hadn't.

David Silverman

Bank stocks keep falling through the floor,

But you're just the guy to save the world by crying "Naw,

"This thing's got to stop."

Those bank stocks keep fallin' through the floor, they keep fallin'.

So you just did you some talkin', City guys,

And told them you didn't like their toxic heaps of lies,

Mortgagin' the job,

Those bank stocks etc.

But there's one thing you know,

Those Blues in opposition can't defeat you,

They don't belong; their chappiness can't hope to beat you.

Bank stocks keep fallin' . . .

But that doesn't mean they'll plunge for ever, ever more,

Gloomin's not for you

'Cause you're saving Britain, and the pound - it's your mission.

Because you're top -

Nothing's closin' your shop.

D A?Prince

No 4064 Are you the patient?

Set by Joy Hosker

Surgeons in every UK hospital must now, under new rules, go over a checklist before they operate, to include establishing the identity of the patient and the operation they require. An international study shows that this simple procedure can cut deaths by 40 per cent. Can we have extracts from conversations by the surgical team, as they operate before the changes bite, which demonstrate the need for these new rules.

Max 150 words by 19 February

Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk