UK Politics
What a load of Hoey
Published 24 April 2008
They've gone down in the polls, lost a member to Ukip and just missed out on a Labour defection - but the Tories are still buoyant
Back to school and the Commons tearoom. On Monday, it was the only place to be on the first day back after recess, as Tory politicians exchanged stories of the reactions they have had on the doorstep to the suggestion that Boris Johnson might run London. Apparently, Oliver Letwin reported back that the responses to his Easter canvassing had been somewhat varied. There is certainly a flavour of nervousness in the Tory party about Boris; most Conservatives change their thoughts daily as to whether they think victory beckons.
Gordon Brown's despair was discussed at length, with Tory MPs coming up with yet more Major comparisons. So was the forthcoming by-election caused by Gwyneth Dunwoody's death, and rumours heard about disloyal Labour ministers.
They are enjoying it . . . they think. The Tories' heroine (and former Northern Ireland high-jump champion, no less) Kate Hoey caused rumours to start that she might back Boris, defect to the Tories, or say they are great or suchlike. It didn't happen, but as one shadow minister delightfully put it: "We would rather have Kate inside the tent, pissing inside the tent." A rude little comment that had his fellow MPs clicking their heels back to rabbit-warren offices, smirking.
By mid-morning, top subject of discussion was Charles Clarke's letter in the Times, in which he launched a bitter attack on Gordon's close ally Ed Balls, accusing him of carrying out secret briefings. With new Tory MPs amazed at his jaw-dropping badness, one commented: "Not even we would do something like that," adding: "Well, I might say it over a glass of wine, but I wouldn't write it in the Times." (While we are on Balls, Esquire magazine has for some time been chasing him for an interview and accompanying photo shoot. It was keen to do something that would have been positive. But there was no response from the Schools Secretary; he appears to have been more than a little hesitant. The smart glossy is now not quite so eager.) The fresh bunch, the 2005 Tory intake in particular, is startled by, but relishing the Labour backbiting. They are, of course, all innocents, having known only spiritual Cameron harmony, unlike the rest - cynics who have spent the past 15 years doggy-paddling in pools of venom.
The Tories believe "the government's current hard time creates a mood that is probably more anti-them than pro-us". They were surprised Tuesday morning's Guardian poll suggested Labour was up five points and ahead while the Conservatives were down three. A backbencher was nonchalant. "In the past, we might have reacted to a single poll like this. It's the Guardian - there'll be another next week." Although this is a stock answer from any political party after a disappointing poll, other MPs expressed a genuine, similar lack of concern.
A shadow minister said: "It just shows how volatile public opinion is. Put a foot wrong one day and you plunge in the polls. It doesn't take much to upset the applecart. Look at Obama: he mentions 'guns and God' and Hillary's back in the running. It would be ridiculous to take every poll seriously. The past 12 months surely proves that."
Further news on Tuesday morning was that the sacked MP Bob Spink had crossed over to Ukip. Spink is not thought to be a great loss. How buoyant the Tories are is reflected in their ability not to give a damn that this man-weasel has fled. A couple of years ago, if a Tory MP had defected anywhere, there would have been rumours of splits. Today, they appear unfazed. "I thought he had already gone," said one.
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