Wow. Only one clear winner this week, who managed to make me chuckle with every one of his ten suggestions. A extraordinary feat, which means he also gets the Tesco vouchers for going beyond the call of duty. It's £20 to Bond, O'Byrne and Greenwell, £10 to G M Davis, and the rest get £5 book tokens.
A Hazel Blears guest appearance in your panto (Snow White).
A photo op presenting Gordon Brown with an ice cream.
A chance to escort Jacqui Smith on a walkabout in her constituency.
A makeover with Alistair Darling's hairdresser and eyebrow manager.
A pair of Jack Straw's old specs.
The chair from which Harriet Harman has guided the Labour Party.
An interval visit to Andy Burnham's box at the opera.
A whip signed by Geoff Hoon.
A ride in an open-top bus with Ruth Kelly.
The original of a limited edition of Happy Family cards featuring Dad Des, an army recruiting sergeant; Mum Hazel, a stressed bureaucrat; Grandfather James, a pensioner; and Ed, a naughty schoolboy.
Paul Bond
Your obituary written by Andrew Roth, with a note by Tam Dalyell.
A luxury tea towel with most of Magna Carta reproduced on it.
A mock-up of Tribune with your name on the front page.
A free ticket to the third fundraising dinner.
Bill Greenwell
A weekend in a wild moorland landscape in Yorkshire with Gordon Brown.
Helping Cherie Blair pack for a romantic weekend.
Playing the records on Ken Livingstone's afternoon phone-in show.
An evening of endogenous growth theory with Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper.
John O'Byrne
A night in the cells with Jacqui Smith.
An opportunity to give David Blunkett a full body wax.
G M Davis
Go for a walk to the shops with Jacqui Smith (anti-stab vest and police escort included).
Liam Kenson
A roll of the hand-painted Pugin wallpaper used to decorate Lord Irvine's official residence.
Shirley Curran
A chance to nominate an enemy to be a character in Alastair Campbell's new novel.
D A Prince
Be the surprise guest at Margaret Thatcher's next birthday party.
Sid Field
A trip to Costa Coffee with Tony Benn.
Glyn Haggett
No 4040 No fear of death
Set by John O'Byrne
According to the Guardian, Ed Stafford, an ex-army captain from Leicester, has advertised for a companion . . . "for a 3,000-mile Amazon trek - must have own iPod". Other must-haves: GSOH and "no fear of snakes or gun-toting guerrillas". We want ads for companions involving activities that may need some judicious wording in order to get some fool, er . . . brave soul to come along.
Max 120 words by 7 August
Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk
