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Named and shamed No 4030

Published 05 June 2008

Set by Tim Hopkins The names of our politicians are actually acronyms. We asked what Brown, Cameron, Darling, or any other politicians' names actually mean

I was surprised by some entries from those I would have expected to know better. I mean to say: "Boring Repetitive Old Numbskull" from H Glenister and "Heroine And Reigning Monarch Of Newspeak" from Alanna Blake for (Gordon) Brown and (Harriet) Harman respectively. Tut tut! And strictly speaking, David Silverman shouldn't have won with "Ödd", but then I always had a soft spot for Clouseau-speak. £20 to the winners. Those who won with a single- or doubleton can have a tenner each. The overall winner (Bill Greenwell) also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Brown - Blunderer Re-creating Our Worst Nightmare

Clegg - Charming, Legover Expert, Gaffe Generator

Hutton - Hilariously Unhinged, Top-level, Twittering, Overpromoted Nutkin

Field - Fearless Integrity, Earnest, Level-headed Decency

Anne Du Croz

Prescott - Pugnacious Rogue Enjoys Swish Cars On The Taxpayer

Straw - Simian Thing Resembling Anal Warts

Cameron - Can A Marijuana Enthusiast Run Our Nation?

Clegg - Cactus-Lighting Europhile Goes Green

G M Davis

Boris Johnson - Buffoon Or Right-wing Intellectual? Shallow Jester Or Hirsute Nonchalant Scholar . . . Or Numbskull?

Brown -Blair Replacement Overstaying Welcome Now

Balls - Be A Labour Leader Soon?

Öpik - Odd Politician. Is Kinky?

David Silverman

Johnson - Joking Over, He's Now Southerners' Obergruppenführer Numpty

Cameron - Campaigning As Meaningless Emperor Ruling Our Nation

Clegg - Campaign Leader Employing Girl Guides

Straw - Scheme To Run A Whelkstall

Bill Greenwell

Brown - Beware Rages Of Worried Nebbish

Prescott - Pie-Ravishing, Employee-Snogging, Car-Obsessed Tittle-Tattler

Jane O'Connor-Creed

Darling - Does Anyone Really Love Inappropriately Named Gent?

Tony Black

Mugabe - Manufactured Unbelievable Gains At Bogus Election

Mark Greenberg

Darling - Debonair And Reticent, Lurking In National Government

Brown - Blair's Replacement, Or, What Next?

John Griffiths-Colby

No 4033 Secret of my success

Set by J Seery

It appears from Cherie's memoirs that Tony Blair "has spoken to Gordon about how he could win [the next election]. Tony has given Gordon advice. He and Gordon talk to each other even now." It doesn't seem to be working in Brown's favour so far, as comments such as the following proliferate in the press: "Unlike his far more charismatic predecessor Tony Blair, Gordon Brown . . ." etc. Can we have examples of that advice - of a less than helpful nature?

Max 125 words by 19 June

Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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1 comment from readers

woundedpride
08 June 2008 at 06:53: Look, Gordon, it's simple. Smile a lot. Excessive smiling seems to work well. The middle classes think you're relaxed and in control while the underclass on sink estates think you're euphoric on drugs and one of the lads. Can't fail. Oh, and stop wearing that blue tie.