Set by J Seery The sign outside this setter's nearby fire station reads: "Community Fire Station", while Merseyside Police has opened a "Community Police Station" in the Wirral. We asked for an official press release detailing how these differ from the normal stations

Report by Ms de Meaner

Two main winners this week, but as I liked so many of the others I decided to publish excerpts from three. £20 to those two, a tenner each to the trio. The Tesco vouchers go, in addition, to Alanna Blake.

Ownership by the community

Your new Community Police and Fire Stations embody ownership by the whole community. Everyone is entitled to contact either service direct, provided they live in the city area. A personal identification number and password will also be issued to each qualified resident and these will connect them with the automated Community Information Desk, by phone, text or email. Details of the requirements of each call, registered automatically, will be dealt with in strict order when officers become available. Since only requests from the city and within a five-mile radius will be eligible for official assistance, it follows that officers will be available more immediately than at present. Visitors and non-qualifying residents will dial the emergency services as at present, with their calls re-routed to regional headquarters.

Alanna Blake

Misleading connotations

The rebranding of emergency service provision is a forward-looking policy initiative aimed at bringing its profile into line with the desired outcomes of inclusiveness and conformity to multicultural norms, substituting warm, user-friendly appellations for stark description and thus channelling a sense of concerted, interactive sociality. The very word "community", redeemed from its pejorative Cold War associations with "communism", imparts a message of faith, optimism and cohesive strength. Further to underline this passionate commitment to a fairness-for-all civic agenda, a Stage Two in the removal of misleading negative connotations is planned, to include the avoidance of needlessly alarmist terms such as "police", "emergency" and "fire", which are all too often associated in the public mind with pain, anxiety and distress.

Basil Ransome-Davies

Meeting your needs

In response to your many concerns that policing was not meeting your needs, we are offering you the opportunity to set priorities for your community. Step inside and you could be DCI for the day . . .

Liam Kenson

The listening station

You told us what you wanted and we listened. You told us, between fires, that instead of lying idle, our hoses could be used to water your gardens, wash your patios and cars.

David Silverman

Service to the community

The Community Police Station exists to provide a service to the community in the form of coffee mornings, barn dances . . . M E Ault

No 4032 A day in the life of . . .

Set by Hank T Romein

On leaving office, politicians need a minimum of half a dozen jobs to fill their time and bank accounts. Please suggest some occupations for the likes of Dubbya, Ian Paisley and others whose time will come. We want details of all new duties.

Max 120 words by 12 June

Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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