Set by Hank T Romein The medical profession has the Hippocratic Oath. We asked you to think up oaths for other professions - cab drivers, archbishops, editors, plumbers . . . the choice was yours

I enjoyed this one. Some single lines were particularly excellent: "I will dive, dive and dive again" (Mike Berry/footballer's oath) and "I will have no hesitation in using free verse if necessary, not least when I can't think of a rhyme" (Bill Greenwell/poet's oath). £20 to the winners. The best (J Seery) also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Cab driver's oath

I solemnly swear to maintain a hostile silence except to compare other road users to mentally defective female genitalia or to talk non-stop in language unworthy of a Sun editorial, expressing only ideas originating before 1900 and compatible with the manifesto of the BNP. I will maintain that Sat Nav is inferior to "the knowledge" and devalues the cabby's art, especially when I take the fare to the wrong address. I will have the radio permanently tuned, at full blast, to a station employing a moronic DJ playing raucous music. I shall loudly approve of or disparage all his views. I shall only help with the luggage of well-built male passengers who look threatening. So help me, guv.

J Seery

Police officer's oath

I do solemnly swear that I shall:

On arrival at a burglary scene, advise the householder to move out of this dodgy area, then leave.

When in pursuit of villains in a car chase, try to take as many of the general public with me as possible.

Be aware of gender and racial equality in the force, eg, never use expressions like "burglar's dog" when alluding to a WPC in front of senior officers, or "onion bhaji" when near the sarge.

Always wear stab-proof vest when being visited by an MP.

Try not to disappear for a piss when on an obbo of suspect's home. So help me God.

Josh Ekroy

Football manager's oath

As a member of the football managers' brotherhood, I pledge:

To fulminate in the technical area, and sometimes beyond it, while emphasising the importance of discipline and respect for the referee's decisions.

Whenever necessary, not to have a good view of the incident, yet be able to distinguish my team's robust, spirited play from the opposition's persistent brutal fouls.

To blame the media for many of the game's ills, and be unafraid to say so in my regular column for a tabloid newspaper.

Never to question a referee's impartiality, not even when Man United are given seven minutes of added-on time to score an equaliser or a winning goal.

To ensure that I am amply compensated for failure.

G M Davis

Plumber's oath

I swear that I will always try to turn up on time, do a good job with minimum disruption to the client, clear up afterwards and charge a reasonable amount reflecting the time and materials used. I also swear to return to Poland as soon as I have made enough money to buy my own home there.

Katie Mallett

No 4026 Red Riding Hoodie

Set by Leonora Casement

We'd like you to take a traditional bedtime story of your choice and update it for the 21st century.

Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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