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Set by Hank T Romein "In Downing Street upon the stair/I met a man who wasn't Blair . . ." We asked you to update some other well-known nursery rhymes and jingles to cast new light on a current news item of choice
Report by Ms de Meaner
Another enormous postbag - jingles always get you going. £10 to the shorties, £15 to the longer entries, the best of which (Alanna Blake) also gets the Tesco vouchers.
Old Mugabe grabbed some farms
Ee-eye, ee-eye, oh
And on those farms he put some mates
Ee-eye, ee-eye, oh
With a toady here and a "veteran" there,
Here a cousin, there a creep, everywhere a yes-man,
Old Mugabe wrecked some farms
In Zimbabwe, oh
With a gunshot here, a machete there,
Here a loan, there some aid,
Everywhere a handout,
Old Mugabe wrecked the land
Of Zimbabwe, oh
Alanna Blake
This young man, he played one,
He played Nick-Clegg just for fun,
With a Nick-Clegg, over-leg,
For the ears of Piers,
This young man will end in tears.
This young man, he played two,
He played Nick-Clegg at GQ,
With a Nick-Clegg, over-leg,
For the ears of Piers,
This young man's inviting smears.
This young man, he played three,
He played Nick-Clegg on TV,
With a Nick-Clegg, over-leg,
For the ears of Piers,
This young man needs volunteers.
(Continue to 30, or maybe not more than 25 verses)
Bill Greenwell
Two little tricky birds
Burning with a yen,
One named Boris,
One named Ken.
Vote for Mayor Boris!
Vote for Mayor Ken!
Can't choose between 'em?
Vote Lib Dem.
Michael Brereton
Maxie Mosley took a belt
And gave a tart a hefty welt.
But once she had been paid her whack,
The prozzie whacked old Maxie back.
The tabloids rubbed their hands in glee.
They had it all on DVD.
Poor Maxie read the news and said:
"Mein Gott! Mein Gott! Is my face red?"
G M Davis
Hickory Dickory Dock
The City's all to cock
The market's down
They're blaming Brown
Best keep your cash in a sock.
Liam Kenson
Nick Sarkozy came to town
And brought that Carla Bruni,
Met Charles, Camilla, Gordon Brown,
The Queen (but not Wayne Rooney).
David Silverman
No 4027 Just get a grip
Set by Joy Hosker
Philip Larkin's poem "Aubade" prompted Kingsley Amis to speak out: "If you feel as bad as you say, then fucking get up, or if it's too early or something then put on the light and read Dick Francis . . ." and so on. Can we have Amisian (or Grumpy Old Men) responses to "Intimations of Immortality", "Ode on Melancholy", "Dejection: An Ode", "In Memoriam" or other, similar poems?
Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk
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