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Ugly, boring and angry?

  • Posted by Courtney E. Martin
  • 26 November 2007

Stereotypes of feminists as man-hating, bra-burning troublemakers persist across social and generational divides, but they don't reflect reality.

As I travel across the country speaking about feminist issues I like to take a quick survey of the audiences. I ask them “What are the stereotypes you’ve heard about feminists?”
After a few timid moments, folks start shouting a flood of unsavoury characteristics: ugly, bitchy, man-hating, boring, angry, bra-burning.

The wild thing is that whether I am in a lecture hall in Jacksonville, Illinois, or a woman’s club in suburban New Jersey, or an immigration center in Queens, New York, whether I am among 15 year-olds, or 25 year-olds, or 60 year-olds, whether the crowd of faces that I see are mostly white, or mostly of color, or a welcome mix of all—this list tends to be almost identical.

I tell those in the audiences as much, and then I ask, “So how did all of you—from such vastly different backgrounds—get the exactly same stereotypes about feminism? Why would feminism be so vilified?”And to this they usually shrug their shoulders.

I believe that feminism has attracted so many unsavoury stereotypes because of its profound power and potential. It has gained such a reputation, been so inaccurately demonized, because it promises to upset one of the foundations on which this world, its corporations, its families, and its religions are based—gender roles.

If you asked diverse audiences to give you stereotypes about Protestantism, for example, you would have some groups that starred at you blank-faced and some that might have a jab or two. If you asked about the history of civil rights, even, you would get a fairly innocuous, probably even partly accurate sense of the progress afforded by sit-ins, freedom rides, and protests. But you ask about feminism and the whole room erupts with media-manufactured myths, passed down from generation to generation.

Some of these stereotypes can be traced to events or controversial figures in the women’s movement, though they are still perversions. That whole bra-burning thing came out of the 1968 Miss America protests in which feminists paraded one another around like cattle to show the dehumanizing effects of beauty pageants, but they didn’t actually burn any bras.

There have surely been some feminists who despised men and advocated for female-only spaces; others have undoubtedly resorted to an angry MO; there were probably even a few shabby dressers (though, I have to tell you, us third-wave gals tend to be pretty snappy).

More recently one of the most pervasive misperceptions about what feminism purports to do is actually perpetuated by strong, intelligent women; I refer to the mistaken belief that feminism is solely about achievement, competition, and death-defying acrobatics (sometimes called multitasking). I like to think of this as “shoulder-pad feminism”—the do it all, all at once circus act that so many of my friends and I witnessed growing up in households headed by superwomen.

The ugly truth about superwomen, my generation has come to realize, is that they tend to be exhausted, self-sacrificing, unsatisfied, and sometimes even self-loathing and sick. Feminism—and the progress it envisions—was never supposed to compromise women’s health. It was supposed to lead to richer, more enlightened, authentic lives characterized by a deep sense of wellness.

Feminism in its most glorious, transformative, inclusive sense, is not about man-hating, nor is it about superwomen. For what it is, come back tomorrow…

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7 comments from readers

gnuneo
26 November 2007 at 14:41

is it about dancing naked on wild-grass hillsides under a beautiful moon-goddess?

cos if so i'm all for it! :P

(ps nice intro, looking forward to the rest)

J. K. Gayle
26 November 2007 at 21:04

You write:

I believe that feminism has attracted so many unsavory stereotypes because of its profound power and potential. It has gained such a reputation, been so inaccurately demonized, because it promises to upset one of the foundations on which this world, its corporations, its families, and its religions are based—gender roles.

And it promises to upset the foundations of government: in reply to the "all men are created equal" "declaration of independence," Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott and other feminists make the "all men and women are created equal" Declaration of Sentiments in 1848. Woman suffrage starts with the letter F.

Thanks for speaking up and speaking out. Looking forward to the next column!

whitelabcoat
26 November 2007 at 22:31

This is a great explanation of why these untruths are perpetuated as well as why feminism counts - and, surprise, the same reason is behind both. Feminism is the biggest threat to the biggest (interpolated) ideology that exists. Thanks for putting the truth across so well.

jenniferjennijen
28 November 2007 at 02:15

I'll tell you where we got that nasty stereotype of feminism -- media, sister, media! The whole media industry was run by white men who had a whole lot to lose during the early 1970s, and they certainly put forth their opinions in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Funny how it spread all over the UK and US, if not the world. Nowadays, you stand up for gender equity in even the most minimal ways, and you're a big hairy "feminist" (said with a sneer).

Factory
01 December 2007 at 22:41

I'll tell you where feminism got to acquire that stereotype....you earned it, through thought, and deed, and word. Every last bit of it and more.

There, now that the truth's out, shall we set about fixin' things?

catch
26 December 2007 at 17:31

The stereotype is entirely baseless.

I belong to a group that includes a number of self-described feminists. Most of them are angry when it comes to males, a few could be accurately characterized IMO as "man-haters" (but would never openly admit to it).

In most cases, they have had a series of bad relationships with men, including their father. They seem to act out their anger and frustration by turning to feminism as a way to strike out at all men.

catch
26 December 2007 at 17:32

meant to say that the stereotype is not entirely baseless.

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About the writer

Courtney E. Martin is a writer and teacher living in Brooklyn, NY, and the author of Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normality of Hating Your Body (Piatkus Press). Read more about her work at www.courtneyemartin.com

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