Set by J Seery The scenario: a speaker arrives to talk on the subject of Jesse James. Suddenly he realises, to his horror, that the audience has turned up expecting a learned treatise on . . . Henry James. And he can't disappoint them. We wondered how his talk went - or one by another speaker put into a similar situation

Report by Ms de Meaner

Yet another tribute to the sheer doggedness of the older person: I have had a letter from George Cowley ("I have won about 80 NS comps since the late 1960s") to say that he has recently had a serious operation on his bile duct, but now feels "as good as new". Well done, George, and our best wishes. The three winners can have £20 each (weirdly, if you Google "Michael's Portaloos", a piece on Glastonbury appears), the best of whom (W J Webster) also gets the Tesco vouchers.

The history of Lord's/Lourdes

Across the centuries, Lord's, a verdant enclave in north-west London, has been a sanctuary of healing calm amid the debilitating noise and frenzy of contemporary life. This hallowed ground, situated on the site of a wood said to have been dedicated to St John himself, has become a place of pilgrimage for the faithful from all corners of the world. In turn, its fame has constantly increased, as pilgrims return home awed by the sights and by their experience, with test after test demonstrating unchallengeably miraculous recoveries. Meanwhile, the upkeep and enhancement of the shrine itself has been in the hands of the MCC, a sacerdotal institution named after the 1,200 original witnesses of Lord's inauguration.

W J Webster

Agatha Christie/John Christie

Christie. Yes. Murder was very much his . . . I mean her . . . line of business. Very much to the fore, murder. And of course by no means always where you'd expect it. In a ghastly squalid house in Notting Hill, maybe, especially if it should be inhabited in a gruesome co-dependency relationship by a psychotic necrophile and a feeble-minded, illiterate Welsh drifter, yes. But in, you know, posh country villages and such, well, it's different, isn't it? And isn't it true that that detective of hers always gets it right? No miscarriages of justice in Agatha Christie, even though in the real world a combination of factors - prejudice, ignorance, police attitudes, sloppy forensics - can send an innocent man to the gallows and prompt a judicial inquiry.

Basil Ransome-Davies

Michael Portillo/Mike's Portaloos

As a mobile plumbing technician, I have bad memories of the Portillo as something unreliable, prone to foul outpourings, and which you kept locked in a cupboard and only considered using if there was absolutely nothing else available. However, following difficult times, the Portillo went through a redesign in the 1990s to become an entirely new, user-friendly product. The Portillo is now favoured by many media organisations for on-location work and is not out of place next to top stars, or Andrew Neil. From its harsh, uncompromising beginnings, the Portillo now has a much softer and accommodating image, though it could still do with a good regular flush through with industrial-strength drain cleaner.

Neil Rennick

No 4006. Unlikely legacies

Set by Ian Birchall

John Hayes in the NS states that the Tories are "the true guardians of [William] Morris's legacy". Defend equally original claims, such as that Sinn Fein are the "true guardians" of Cromwell's legacy, or Ukip the "true guardians" of Karl Marx's legacy.

Max 125 words by 22 November

Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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