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Set by Hank T Romein Taking as our inspiration Mark Rylance's play "I Am Shakespeare" - in which he starred, and where the true identity of the Bard is sought - we asked you to supply theories as to the person who really wrote the works of Harold Pinter
Jeffrey Archer, Douglas Hurd, Doris Stokes . . . the list goes on. Here is G M Davis: "Harold Pinter easily yields the anagram Pardon Hitler" - a clue to the fact that "Harold Pinter" can't possibly be a left-wing Jewish celebrity. Er . . . £20 to the winners. The Tesco vouchers also go to John O'Byrne, the overall winner. In addition, The Geist Atlas of Canada, donated by Brendan J O'Byrne, goes to David Silverman. I feel he will appreciate it.
Contemporary records and reliable Portuguese DNA evidence show beyond doubt that the plays of "Pinter" form the entire output of William Shakespeare, an obscure Elizabethan thespian, deer-thief and spy. They show how, stealing the identity of a Cheapside bartender, "Harolde the Pinter", Shakespeare pared down Marlowe's overcomplicated plots and dialogue to barest essentials, combining everyday language with sublime blank verse: "Plug it, stupid sod, I'm trying to read" (adapted from Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2); "I think I'll have a fag. Give me a fag" (Raleigh's product placement). While Shakespeare's brilliant visionary inventions, recently discovered during Globe Theatre excavations, are revealed in The Caretaker ("Aston gets the electric toaster"; "Suddenly the Electrolux starts to hum"), his trademark pauses are pure Marlowe: "The rest is . . . (Silence)"
David Silverman
There are innumerable references to cricket in the works of "Pinter", including some quite long pauses. For example, in The Birthday Party, Stanley is asked: "Who watered the wicket in Melbourne?" It would seem the plays were written by a fanatical follower of the game, someone with a theatrical or circus background, a Londoner (note the use of Brixton patois), most likely a holder of high office (note the constant references to class). The finger of suspicion points to Sir John Major, PM (1990-97). Records show that, on departing No 10, Major-Pinter gifted a bottle of champagne and a copy of No Man's Land to his successor - after which he headed off to watch a game of cricket.
John O'Byrne
It is no accident that "Antonia" is one letter longer than "Harold" and that "Fraser", obviously, is the "Phraser" who constructs fragments of dialogue. Antonia Fraser is thus the mistress of the gaps between the phrases, the threatening power in the silence, who can turn her hand to any genre - histories, detective novels, plays. But prolificity in such a beautiful aristocrat is bound to be regarded as suspect, so how to disguise this? What simpler than to marry a man named Davies from Sidcup who is to go under the name of "Harold Pinter" or "Hold A Reprint", for he holds hers and claims them for his own. But she reckoned without the terrible hold he has over her, with his excruciating anti-war poems that bear no resemblance whatsoever to the subtleties of "Antonia's" brilliant, excoriating dramas.Josh Ekroy
Set by J Seery
A speaker arrives to talk on Frank and Jesse James. Suddenly he's told the subject is Henry and William. We want frantic backpedalling for this or a mismatch of your choice.
Max 125 words by 1 November
Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk
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