Set by J Seery We asked for extracts from an autobiography of a famous writer that had been ghosted by a leading sportsman (or woman) - for instance, Oscar Wilde by Wayne Rooney

Report by Ms de Meaner

Each printed entry will receive a £5 book token. Entries on a POSTCARD, please, to This England, NS, address on page 3First, all biographies were filed in the bin forthwith. Tut tut. £20 to the three main winners; £5 tokens to the two excerptees. The overall champion is Josh Ekroy, who also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Ian McEwan by Tim Henman

. . . I knew after the Booker I'd be under increased pressure to perform but my characterisation has never been better and with excellent partnership upfront with my agent I knew the Whitbread would be in the bag but I had to look more closely at my plotting, all it needs is a more positive mental attitude, I could be looking at the Nobel within ten years maybe eight if I go to Stockholm fairly buoyant and try to be aggressive though there are risks in that of course, but the lads at Random House have been terrific, I know I've missed it a few times but I think I stand a pretty good chance of bringing back the silverware in say 2020 . . .

Josh Ekroy

Samuel Beckett by Andrew Flintoff

In the hours following my birth on Good Friday, I am essentially pavilion-bound. Being born is a monumental effort, so to be taken out on Day 2 to watch the cricket on Foxrock village green bowls me over. The local undertaker makes 46 not out. Little do I know, as I listen to the sound of leather on willow, that I am fated to become the only Nobel Prizewinner to be mentioned in Wisden. The light gleams for a few innings, then it's night again. Having spent the early part of my life with my family, I flee Ireland after a row with my mother. I am considerably bored there although some of the other children attempt to distract me. Now it strikes me that life is about death, with some futile runs in between.

John O'Byrne

George Orwell by Andy Murray

I was born in Bengal as Eric Blair but quit that and called myself Orwell when I started writing. I was ginormously lonely when we moved to England but I want to say I've nothing against the English. Everything picked up at Eton. Then I joined the police in Burma. Killing an elephant was a bit of a shocker - a tough one, but that's what happens. Then I dabbled in a bit of siding with underdogs - you know, writing about what's massively unfair and most of all using words right. You know, not putting lots of meaningless extra superfluous words in sentences when you can say what you want and need to say, really, in just a few simple, straightforward, easy ones.

Shirley Curran

Bill Greenwell by Tim Henman

Obviously I'd have loved to have been Poet Laureate. Of course I would - who wouldn't? But it wasn't to be and that's fine.

David Silverman

Charles Dickens by Alan Shearer

When people ask, "Dicko, what is the best sentence you ever wrote?" I often have to stop and think!

Basil Ransome-Davies

Set by Hank T Romein

Mark Rylance's I Am Shakespeare makes one wonder what theories posterity might entertain about the authorship of Pinter's plays. Argue the case for your chosen candidate: Sir Peter Hall, Joe Orton, Prince Philip, or whoever.

Max 125 words by 11 October

Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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