Report by Ms de Meaner
You handled this in two ways: either preparing a chunk as if written by the original author or producing a publisher's blurb to whet our appetites for the next instalment. Both were acceptable. £20 each to the winners, and especially well done to newbie winner John Purkis. Shirley Curran additionally gets the Tesco vouchers. An hon mensh to D A Prince for William Golding's Flies on the Lord (and the "muddy waters of cash-for-titles").
The Catcher in the Rye, part 2
I was a funny kid. The time I checked out of Pencey Prep I had a headful of dreams - trying to hang on to innocence and protecting other kids from phoneys and creeps, stuff like that. I guess it was my special sensitivity. I had this feeling I was the only authentic person around, having insights other people didn't. Also I was easily freaked - by Mr Antolini, by a five-dollar hooker - being hung up on spiritual aspirations.
But the fact is that, like the man said, the business of America is business. Once I got into corporate finance that alienation just went away, so today I can sit on the deck of my Malibu beach house and say, "Holden, you did well."
Basil Ransome-Davies
The End of the Willows
After the clearing of the Wild Wood by a logging company, and the transfer of the inhabitants to Rabbit Academies, the new Lord Toad had no shortage of funds. The conversion of Toad Hall into a Centre for Weightlessness caused comment. "What sort of example do you set your guests?" muttered Badger. But Toad took full part in the exercises: and soon a Russian rocket arrived on the front lawn. "Space Tourism, dear boy," he chaffed the earthbound Mole. The departure of the expedition, led by Toad, passed off cheerily enough; but his long absence led to concern. It was then noticed that the moon appeared to be accelerating in its course across the sky.
John Purkis
Reader, I Divorced Him
Isolated in a gloomy, reconstructed Thornfield and weary of gibbering nightly pyromaniac activities of the vengeful ghost of the madwoman in the attic, Jane Eyre has grown up and recognised her marriage for what it is - the midlife fling of a half-blind, crippled control-freak with a naive, adolescent bride. Jane's "Eyre" inheritance gives her the independence and courage to flee her unhealthy situation. She abandons the girlish blue dress, the cloying sickroom atmosphere and patronising Rochester regime. This lively sequel explores her racy life in Paris, where she joins her former charge, Adele, now the fashionable Madame of a thriving, licentious brothel. Reader, I Divorced Him speaks with a liberated woman's voice for all victims of male chauvinism and Victorian prudery and sentimentality.
Shirley Curran
No 3959 Showing resolution
Set by John O'Byrne
A bit early . . . Can we have New Year resolutions by well-known people, eg, "I must not forget to resign" (Tony Blair); "When I am shocked I must not exclaim: 'Oh my God!' " (Richard Dawkins); "I promise my next husband will be my next" (Britney Spears).
As many as you like by 7 December
Email: comp@newstatesman.co.uk
