José is confusing, I used to like him, then I didn't, now I do
He's a lad, that José Mourinho, it's hard to keep your eyes off him. But during this past year, I've begun to change my mind about him, to thinking he's a poseur, a fantasist and dead jammy. Even my wife changed her mind once he'd cut his hair, deciding he wasn't attractive.
So I watched him carefully last Sunday afternoon, sitting right behind him in the press box at White Hart Lane. It gives a rubbish view, being so low, but you can smell the greasepaint.
He was first out, on his own, and sat on the away bench in total isolation, staring into space as if he didn't know 20 newspaper and TV cameras were in front of him. Basking in the spotlight, practising his moods? I wondered what the Portuguese was for "Am I bothered?" I used to speak kitchen Portuguese when we lived in Portugal, but all I can remember is: "Mash shoova talvesh." Which means: "More rain perhaps." Dunno how to spell it.
He might argue that he was attempting to take the attention off the players, but that's bollocks. There was no need for it. Martin Jol came out well after his players and took his seat quietly, unfussily, on the bench. So, bad mark José.
I watched the highlights after the game and José, as ever, was seen either jumping up and down when Chelsea scored, or looking furious at some decision by the referee.
In reality, like most managers, for at least half of the 90 minutes they are transfixed, traumatised, hopeless and helpless, not knowing what's going on, but trying not to let it show. They are seated at pitch level, and pitches have a slight bevel in the middle to help drainage, so they genuinely can't see clearly what's happening on the other half of the pitch.
I could tell from the shrug of his shoulders, and the expression when he turned round, that he didn't know, any more than I did, what had happened over there. But these reactions are not shown by the camera, as they are too boring and, anyway, they have better shots of the action.
Afterwards, he came straight to the press conference. It's in a large room like a lecture hall, not the little cubby hole used for TV interviews and covered in crappy commercial logos. Often José keeps the hacks waiting for up to 45 minutes. Fergie, when Man United have lost, might not turn up at all. Well done, José.
It's true he slagged off the ref - which the morning papers made much of - for Terry's sending off, and Drogba's disallowed goal, but I sensed his heart was hardly in it. He just felt he had to say all that in order to please his players. And he was aware of doing so. "When my team lose, I hate to blame the ref." But then he warmed to his referee baiting. "I have in my head that the referee should come to the press conference instead of me. But Mr Poll goes home, has dinner with his family and no one asks him the reason for his decision. He has perfect vision, as we all know . . ." Nice one, José.
It was not reported properly that he congratulated Spurs, and without sarcasm. And on the pitch, after the whistle blew, he shook hands with most of the Spurs players and Martin Jol - and appeared to mean it. He did, though, manage a final dig, when it was pointed out that it was Spurs' first win against Chelsea at White Hart Lane since 1987. "Their fans are happy now. They were unhappy for 20 years. I have
to tell them: enjoy the moment . . ."
"So what was he like?" asked my wife when I got home. I've changed my mind, I said. I like him. And he's growing his hair, but you won't like this - he's very small. "I think actually I now prefer Imran Khan," she said.
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