One of socialism's few good points is that it is in favour of drink

Socialists have on the whole been dismissive of religion as belonging to the soon-to-be-superseded childhood of mankind. But a moment's reflection suggests that socialism is not a rejection of religion but a species of it. How, after all, do you account for that absurd but immovable belief in human equality, if not as an article of faith around which the community of the future is supposed to form itself, and deviations from which are condemned and persecuted as heresies? There is no doubt in my mind that the question before the postmodern world is not whether religion, but which?

The question is of particular urgency for us winos. Some religions set their sights against our way of life with a frightening vehemence. When Ayatollah Khomeini came to power the cellars of Iranian embassies all over the world were emptied into neighbouring rivers, and the last ever bottles of given-away Lafite '45 were enjoyed by the sea bass and salmon that had begun to repopulate the Thames.

Of course, in the great days of Islamic civilisation, wine was an important part of the culture. But the great days of Islamic civilisation are over and we now have to deal with the grim, puritanical remainder of a religion that failed and which is intent on exporting its failure to the rest of us.

Judaism and Christianity have both done rather better by the bottle, the first recognising in wine the true symbol of the settled way of life and the second, in a moment of sublime inspiration, adopting and absorbing the vestiges of Greek religion, transforming the gifts of bread and wine - of Ceres and Dionysus - into the body and blood of the sacrificed Lamb.

I have tried hard to discover a sufficient number of Jewish ancestors to warrant conversion to the faith of the Old Testament; but the taint of illegitimacy runs so deep in the Scruton genealogy that nothing much can be proved. I have experimented with the pagan deities but, as Schiller poignantly reminds us, their world has vanished and in our world they have no home.

One of the good points of socialism is that it is in favour of drink. Brief lapses into temperance are quickly atoned for, and there is a recognised socialist ritual at the bar, each person clutching his own particular poison and toasting the future in his own permitted way. But there's the problem. No precedence is given to wine in the socialist theology. All drinks are equal, and judgement forbidden. The idea of hierarchy is chased from the sacred sphere of intoxication, just as it is chased from every corner of the socialist world.

Winos must therefore turn away from this false religion. Failing some oriental alternative whose principal merit is that we don't understand a word of it, we must return to our ancestral faith, in which wine is not just a permitted drink, but the blood of the Redeemer.

Post your comment

Please note: you will need to login or register before you can comment on the website