Recent musicals have been inspired by such unlikely subjects as Margaret Thatcher, Jesus and the ska band Madness. But is the world really ready for Ratner: the musical? Simon Nye, the writer best known for his television series Men Behaving Badly, has teamed up with the composer Howard Goodall to pen this delightful-sounding piece. It is based upon the story of Gerald Ratner (right), some-time chief executive of the eponymous jewellery chain who in 1991 described one of his own products as "total crap" and promptly lost his job (and many of his rich and famous friends). It certainly has all the highs and lows of a musical, and a happy ending - the man once known as "Crapster" now runs GeraldOnline.com, a successful jewellery business.
But will it have the tunes? And what rhymes with Gerald?
So, was the play really the thing? Not judging by the fact that Kate Betts's On the Third Day, winner of Channel 4's scriptwriting X Factor, is closing early after a critical mauling ("flattered with attention", "I couldn't believe a word", et cetera, et cetera). But perhaps this shouldn't have been a surprise. At a Channel 4 arts dinner weeks before the play opened, the producer Sonia Friedman (below) let slip to me that she thought the play "ropy", swiftly correcting herself and saying, "Any new play from a first-time writer is bound to be ropy." What, like Look Back in Anger? Harold Pinter's The Room? David Hare's Slag?
I gather Jeanette Winterson, the hit-and-miss novelist, is writing her first ever film script, based on her first ever book for children, Tanglewreck. It's a Philip Pullmanish story of an 11-year-old orphan girl, who becomes caught up in the hunt for an object that will give her power over time. Winterson hasn't had anything adapted for the screen, big or small, since the fabulous Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit 16 years ago.
It seems Chris Moyles has yet to give up on his acting ambitions, despite his Channel 5 show flopping a couple of years back. The Radio 1 DJ (salary circa £630,000, if you believe the Sun) has tentatively agreed to make an appearance as himself in the first episode of the next series of the glossy BBC1 drama Hotel Babylon, following in the footsteps of such celebrated guest stars as Anthony Head, Keith Allen, Steven Berkoff, Joan Collins and, er, Les Dennis. Glory days.
Apparently Jon Ronson is getting his hand bitten off by Hollywood execs desperate to film his 2004 book, The Men Who Stare at Goats. It seems they see potential in his ribald tale about some of the more absurd experiments by the CIA and the Pentagon - the best coming from Major General Albert Stubblebine III, who believes that, with the right mental preparation, people can walk through walls, and that goats can be killed simply by staring at them. The book also shows how these New Age military ideas mutated over the decades to influence interrogation techniques at Guantanamo Bay.
bendowell@btinternet.com
Post this article to
We want to encourage people to comment on our content and to exchange views with other readers and hope this will be done on a courteous basis. However, if you encounter posts which are offensive please let us know by emailing comments@newstatesman.co.uk and we will take swift action where necessary.
