Set by Will Bellenger: We asked for inappropriate reworkings of the monikers of the famous

I was exposed to Anne Du Croz's split personality this week: the half that "gets" the rules and the half that doesn't. The anagrams were supposed to be inappropriate in the sense that they would never be applied to the provider of the letters. What am I to make of "Prince of Wales - ESP owl fancier" and "Harry Wales - always Herr"? Both are absolutely spot on. Actually, there were others just as bad (John O'Byrne's "Tony Blair - Tory in lab", for example). I put it down to the summer heat: you're all so full of food and sun and wine that you're just sending in any old stuff as long as it's funny and bugger the consequences. Welcome to: Janet Hicks, Susanne Fletcher, Keith Strachan, Elizabeth Sourbut, Douglas Frank Crosby, Matt Niven, Jay Shuck, Sylvia Betts and Diane Crimes. £5 tokens to every single- and doubleton, £10 to David Bibby, £15 to Anne Du Croz. The Tesco vouchers go to Ian Birchall for sheer wickedness.

Fair shares for all

Her Majesty - share my jet

Osama Bin Laden - a lesbian nomad

Bill Oddie - libido led

Alex Ferguson - sex fun galore

David Attenborough - an odd, abortive thug

Rebekah Wade - had weak beer

Andy Marr - randy ram

Jeremy Paxman - pyjama-men rex

Anne Du Croz

Modest aims

Heather Mills - I'll share them

Ian Birchall

Out of tune

Tina Turner - turn tin ear

Bob Dylan - bland boy

G M Davis

Godlike leader

(James) Gordon Brown - newborn's major god

Patricia Hewitt - a pithier wit act

Shirley Curran

Look out, Phil!

Dr Rowan Williams - will ram a Windsor

John O'Byrne

Oh God . . .

Peter Hain - ah, I repent!

Graham Greene - a German Hergé

W J Webster

Eggsactly famous

Edwina Currie - I incurred awe

Susanne Fletcher

Getting past it

Julia Roberts - just a broiler

D A Prince

Snails good for soil

Alan Titchmarsh - charm that snail

Connie Bowman

Male breasts so last year

Mel Gibson - big melons

Simon Cowell - mellow icons

Homer Simpson - posh misnomer

David Bibby

No class at all

Noam Chomsky - shaky, common

Peter Mandelson - lamented person

Sara Spain

No 3936 Prize worthy
Set by Hank T Romein

Nobel, Pulitzer, Olivier . . . Sooner or later, the great, the good and the merely loaded have prizes named after them. For what qualities or achievements might one, at some future date, win the Bragg, the Archer, the Prescott, or others of your own devising?

Max 150 words by 29 June
E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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