Set by Didier d’Argent: What happened to characters such as Jack and Jill or Georgie Porgie, once the nursery or nonsense rhymes finished? We asked you for those “missing verses”

As you can see, it's redesign week. You must all be thrilled at appearing on such a good-looking page. Welcome to: Carol Foster, Douglas Vaisey, Laura Benson, Emily Barnett, Emma Hopkins, John Barham, Stephen Dudzik and Christopher Kerr. £20 each to the winners, the best of whom (Mr Kerr) also gets the Tesco vouchers.

Star getting bigger

Twinkle twinkle, little star

Brighter now I think you are

A billion billion miles away

Will you visit us one day?

Twinkle twinkle, bigger star

You are larger now by far

Hurtling through the heavenly gloom

Will you miss or bring our doom?

Twinkle twinkle, massive star

Moving faster than a car

Impact in one year, they say,

Then you'll blow us all away.

Stephen Bibby

Miss Muffet seeks therapy

So she went to her shrink,

Saying: "Shrink, do you think

I can keep my neurosis at bay?"

He replied: "I can probe your

"Irrational phobia."

And in less than an hour, she's OK.

Poor Little Miss Muffet

Proceeded to snuff it

When, back at the tuffet next day,

Our brave little kiddo

Went and stroked a black widow.

As she died, cried Miss Muffet, "Touché."

David Silverman

John "Froggie" Prescott

A Frog he would a-wooing go,

Heigh-ho, says Tracey,

Whether his office would let him or no,

With a jiggery, Jaggery, fondle and grapple,

Heigh-ho, says racy Tracey!

This put Mr Blair in a terrible fright,

Heigh-ho, says Tracey,

And only a shuffle could set things right,

With a jiggery, Jaggery, etc.

Shirley Curran

Water shortage hits hill

So then the Bill

Hauled Jack and Jill

Before the Court Recorder.

One spilt pail

Meant three months' jail

For breaching a Drought Order.

Ian Birchall

Nose pecked off by bird

She went straight to the doctor

To see what he could do.

"New noses don't come cheap, my dear.

"You're going to have to sue."

The maid then took the castle

In permanent escrow.

It's open every day now,

At twenty quid a throw.

Christopher Kerr

The Observer wrote that the people of Malham (pop: 120) were baffled at the news that their parish hall had been bugged. The caretaker said the "sophisticated electronic transmitter" had been discovered when an electrician came to check the hall for a safety certificate. The bug was found in a 13amp wall socket and has a range of several hundred metres. But what led up to this discovery?

Max 150 words by 22 June E-mail: comp@newstatesman.co.uk

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